


War Paint

by LittleWolf95



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Bow just wants everyone to get along., Catra has a bit of a potty mouth, Catra is basically a smart ass, Catra needs to let it go., Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Friends to Enemies, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Language, Minor Character Death, Minor Character with PTSD, My First Work in This Fandom, Past Child Abuse, Rivalry, Slow Burn, cadora, discussion of abuse, discussion of mental health issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-02 04:57:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 30,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16780039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleWolf95/pseuds/LittleWolf95
Summary: Thanks to a massive budget cut schools had to combine into one: Bright Moon Achedamy.Catra just goes because she doesn't want to have to go back to the group home, although which is worse? Facing emotions head on and seeing the person who hurt you the most every day or facing the same crap you've faced your whole life?But is Adora right? Could they actually be friends again?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning: there are in-depth conversations of child abuse in this.

“I swear if we are late because _someone_ had to have a stupid energy drink at six-friggin-o’clock in the morning I am going to kick both of your asses.”

To say the least, Catra’s morning was **_not_ ** going as planned because not only was she going to have to drive an extra forty five minutes to get to school (with the very big possibility that she was going to be late thanks to Entraptra’s insistence on needing caffeine to function) but the whole idea of going anywhere _near_ the rich side of town made her want to gag.

Especially since she knew all too well how stuck up and arrogant that people could be.

  
“Oh stop being such a grump. With your driving, we’ll make it there with time to spare!”

Catra tried not to roll her eyes at the comment that came from the passenger seat, from the same person who had made her at least eat a piece of toast before they had even left the house that morning.

“With my luck Scorpia, We’ll hit a tree before we even get there.”

  


Needless to say that her overall mood did not improve upon pulling into the parking lot.

“Welcome to hell ladies.” she mumbled, although her two companions were already out of the car and practically gushing about how fancy everything was.

_This day can not get any worse._

She thought as she got out, rolling her eyes as she followed suit.

  
  
  
  


“I swear I am going to get lost in this place! I mean, I understand why the merger of local schools was necessary but this place looks more like a castle than anything!”

Adora complained as she tried to make sense of the map she had been given upon enrollment.

“Yeah well, that’s what happens when there are budget cuts for like three districts.” Bow said as he glanced over her shoulder at the paper, squinting slightly as he added:

“We have first, third, and fifth together so that shouldn’t be too hard, especially since Glimmer and I already know the layout. We can meet up with you so you don’t get lost on your way to classes.”

“Thanks Bow, you’re the best.” Adora responded before glancing around as if just remembering something “Where’s Glimmer? I swear she was right behind us.”

  
Bow glanced around and shrugged “Oh I think her mom wanted to talk to her about something...Who knows with those two. Now come on, you need to get to orientation.”

  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Catra sighed as she slumped down into the chair in the auditorium, wondering half why she was even bothering with this whole thing besides trying to find the classrooms that were on her list--as well as the quickest way to get to them--but yet here she was, sandwiched between a hyperactive, purple haired chick who was talking about  _ something  _ that she didn’t care about and a tall, butch looking chick that was the closest thing she had to a best friend. 

“Oh did you see! This place offers a Home Ecc. Class! I should totally take that! I bet they would love my muffins!” 

  
  


Catra couldn’t help but face palm at that.

_ What did I do to deserve to be stuck with the world's two biggest idiots as friends?  _ She wondered, although she  _ did  _ have to admit that after moving out of the group home and in with the tall, butch-y girl that she had gained at least seven pounds.

Mostly because of Scorpia’s cooking.

  
  


She managed to tune everything out as she turned her attention to the list of electives that were offered. 

“Ooh! Cat! You should totally sign up for the martial arts classes! I mean, you’re the most flexible person I know and you would totally kick ass!” Scorpia surprised her by saying. 

Catra just glared over at her, crossing her arms as her eyes narrowed. 

“For one, stop calling me Cat. For two, stop yelling in my ear, and for three since when did you start saying ass?” she retorted as she glanced down at the paper, quirking a brow as she mulled over the idea.

_ Well at least that would give me a break from these two idiots...and I definitely need to stay in shape now that I’m not Weaver’s slave and who knows, maybe it will be fun...I always had fun when Adora and I… _

She stopped that thought before she could even take that path down memory lane, shaking her head as if to clear it.

“Yeah, maybe it would be a good idea.” 

She said sighing as their attention was called to the front of the room.

_ Anything to get  _ **_her_ ** _ out of my head….Maybe that would replace memories that I don’t need anymore. _

  
  
  


“See! You were worried for nothing!” Entrapta said, earning a glare from the tan-skinned girl.

“I was not worried! I just didn’t see the point of driving all the way here in the first place! Why do I even need to go to school? I mean I’m joining the military or something as soon as I get old enough!” Catra responded, her voice raising slightly as she turned toward the girl.

“Sure you weren’t.”

  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

“So how was your day?”

Scorpia asked as soon as she saw Catra walking up to the table that she had chosen away from everyone else even though the only answer she got from the other girl was a leer while she was sinking into a chair.

“What do you think? It was boring as the seven layers of hell _and_ I got paired with a senior in biology that has a major case of a god complex.” the tan-skinned girl answered after a few minutes of just sitting there with her eyes closed.

“Okay, what happened? You're _far_ too quiet for normal.” Catra added, opening one eye to look at the other girl, who she noticed seemed more downtrodden than she had expected.

“Oh, you know...The usual. I'm used to it.” Scorpia said earning a scoff from Catra who leaned the chair back against the wall on two legs, arms crossing over her chest.

“The usual? You mean being surrounded by idiots? Yeah _,_ kinda already knew that. Just don't let the assholes say get you down, like seriously who cares about _what_ they say?” the shorter girl responded, unsure if she should say something else or not.

But what could she say? After all, Scorpia probably should have been used to the whispers by now. But she knew from experience that it didn't keep the words from hurting any less.

Not that she would ever admit that!

Before she could even decide to say anything else or not a sudden force nearly knocked her from her chair as an all to familiar voice said: “Cat! Guess what!”

_I really wish that they would stop with the stupid nicknames!_ Catra thought as she managed to pull out of her 'attacker's' hold.

“Whatever it is, I doubt that it was so interesting that in required you to nearly deafen me!” she snapped, although she knew that her response would fall on deaf ears.

Especially since Scorpia beat her to the punch, asking: “What happened Entraptra?”

That was all that it took for the purple haired girl to start talking, her eyes gleaming as she started talking about her day.

“I met some people today and they weren't like what I expected! I mean they were really nice and this one girl was really good at volleyball in gym class _and_ this one guy made brownies and he gave me one and...”

Catra didn't know what hurt her head more, how fast that Entraptra was talking or how high her voice was getting.

“And _that_ would explain why you are talking like the energizer bunny. Seriously, eat a vegetable sometime before you end up in a coma or something.” Catra cut her off, only to have the other girl stick her tongue out at her in response to that.

“says the person who tried to live on instant noodles!”

“Shut up!”

Scorpia rolled her eyes as she listened to her two friends banter since this was a normal occurrence, especially since Catra had left the confines of the group home that she had grown up in.

“Guys, come on. Seriously people's gonna start thinking you're crazy.” Scorpia commented although she turned her attention to rummaging through her bag to find the lunch she had packed.

“Oh, who cares? You think I've been anything but the weird one?” Catra responded as she got up, deflating when she realized what she had just said “Ugh...Whatever. I'm going to go get some food.”

Adora sighed as she followed Glimmer into the cafeteria, her bag slung over one shoulder. Blue eyes glanced around as she took in just how many people were really enrolled there, some she recognized from her old high school.

_I wonder who all is even here...I haven't seen some of my friends for ages. Not since I agreed to the transfer._

She thought although she instantly felt her heart clench as her mind drifted back to that day that she had watched her best friend turn her back on her, the day that she had seen the strongest person she knew struggle to hide the tears that had surely been in her eyes.

_I wonder how Catra is doing now...I offered to have her come with me...Why did she have to be so stubborn? Who knows what that witch did to her!_

She wasn't even watching where she was going until she became aware of a hand on her shoulder.

“You okay Adora? You kinda spaced out there.” Glimmer asked, earning a sigh as the blonde shook her head, glancing up at the ceiling as if looking for something to help her steel herself.

“Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking about the past.”

Adora answered as she followed Glimmer toward the hot bar, only to hear a thud as someone—or something—ran into one of the coolers.

She could hear laughter from the others who were standing in the line, however, as she turned toward the sound she felt as if time itself had stopped because she knew only _one_ person who had complete heterochromia and Adora had never expected to see her again.

Not after that day.

“Catra?”

The word came out barely above a whisper as if she was afraid that she was seeing things.

"Adora?"


	4. Chapter 4

“Adora.” 

Catra wasn't sure what she felt, especially not at the sight of her former best friend, the person who had been there for her when no one else was. 

The person who had planned on leaving without telling her, only to offer her a place as an afterthought.

“Catra? It's good seeing you again.”

Catra barely managed to get to her feet as the blonde's awkward comment rang in her ears.

_ Good to see me again? Is that all she can say after she just left me? _

Catra felt the familiar bitterness and anger filling her as she was reminded of that day and with as much venom as she could summon she said:

“Yeah well, I didn't want to see you.” 

She tried not to see the hurt flash across Adora's face or the glare she got from the short girl who stood next to Adora as she stalked off in the opposite direction.

_ She can’t just act like  _ **_nothing_ ** _ ever happened! She can’t act like she didn’t plan on abandoning me like everyone else!  _

Catra’s mind raced as she walked toward the nearest exit, having lost her appetite as soon as she had seen the other girl. 

_ What did I do wrong? Why was she so willing to leave me? Why wasn’t I good enough for her? For anyone?  _ She couldn’t help but wonder as raw emotion, which lay suppressed and dormant for the last few years rose to the surface, resulting in her driving her fist into the nearest locker. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Who was that and what was that all about?” Glimmer demanded as she and Adora took a seat at a nearby table, earning a sigh from the other girl.

“That was Catra...We were friends when we were kids. I mean I know that she was ticked off when I left  _ but  _ it’s not like I planned on leaving her there! I mean she’s the one that didn’t want to leave!” 

Glimmer watched as the blonde buried her face in her hands, obviously unsettled by the encounter.

“Then it’s her own fault then. I don’t understand why she is mad at you?” she said, putting a hand on Adora’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. If she wants to be that petty, let her. I mean, it’s not you that held a grudge for what? Two years?”

  
  


“Yeah, I know. It’s just...I’ve honestly never seen her look so...I don’t even know the word I’m looking for. She just seemed... _ different. _ ” Adora replied, brow creasing as she thought back to the look that had flashed across her former friend’s face. 

“People can change you know and it has been a long time since you lived with her.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Catra? You okay? I saw you run out here and…” 

Catra jolted at the sudden voice, quickly wiping her eyes before turning toward the voice.

“What do you want?” she barked out, hating the sympathy that the shone in the taller girl’s eyes. 

  
  


“We saw you bolt out here and wondered what happened and  _ don’t  _ say that nothing happened because you’re crying,” Scorpia responded, smirking a bit as she heard Catra’s muttered curse at that.

_ Pull yourself together Catra, that was a long time ago! You don’t need anybody! You got this far on your own! Just forget all this shit before you get even more pathetic than you were back then! _ The tan-skinned girl mentally scolded herself as she wiped at her eyes again.

“If you tell  _ anyone  _ about this...Even Entrapta I will kick your ass.” Catra said brushing past her and heading toward the doors, not even noticing the eye roll that the other girl sent her way.

“Sure you will Catra….Whatever you say. Where are you going anyway?” Scorpia retorted, barely hearing the answer before Catra slammed the door.

“Away from here!” 

  
  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so Beatrix and Hec-tor are basically the (mostly cannon) names that Mattel came up with for Shadow Weaver and Hordak in the original (basically everyone had another name they never really used) So since this is an AU I figured I could use this idea.

“What's wrong with Catra?” Entrapta asked as soon as Scorpia returned to her seat at the table.

“You want the list alphabetically or in order of annoyance?” the taller girl huffed before glancing back over at the blonde that had caused her other friend to just storm out of the room before adding “Catra's just too damn stubborn for her own good.”

Entrapa snorted at that, rolling her eyes “What else is new? I mean I haven't known her for as long as you have but even I know how she is. That still doesn't explain what happened.” she responded, earning a look.

“Okay, so you know how Catra and I basically knew each other because we basically got stuck living together? Well, if my theory of who _Blondie_ over there is correct I do believe that she used to live with us...although I was usually too busy working odd jobs so I could literally afford to move out when I was old enough to be emancipated to really socialize much.” 

Scorpia answered as she once again turned her attention to her food, brow furrowing as she thought back on all of that, adding as an afterthought.

“Come to think of it...after she left Catra kinda put even _more_ emotional walls up than normal. I don't know the details of what happened but I do know that it wasn't but a few weeks later that Catra basically got kicked out of the home and ended up on my doorstep.” 

_I moved out a few days after Adora left...and if I know anything about the Weavers, they were probably pissed that their favorite had left. Who knows what they did to Catra, after all, it was snowing the day she showed up at my place, without a coat or much of anything besides the clothes on her back._ Scorpia couldn't help but think about that, expression scrunching up slightly as she glanced back toward the blonde, who was currently laughing at something that a pink haired girl said.

_I don't even **want** to know what they did to her...But if they were such good friends why did Adora plan to get out of there and leave Catra behind? That doesn't sound like something that Adora would do but then again, she did it._

“How is that legal? I mean I don't know much about that sort of thing but that doesn't sound right.” Entrapta snapped Scorpia out of her thoughts by saying, earning a sigh and shrug in response. 

“yeah well Beatrix and Hector both had legal pull in a lot of places. Besides you didn't live with them, they weren't the best of people either.” 

Catra knew this was stupid. That she couldn't just run away like some terrified  _child_ forever. But yet, Catra wasn't sure  _**what** _ she should even do. But running away really wasn't it.But then again why should she let anyone see how pathetic she was? It was roughly two years ago! She should have just gotten over it and moved on.

_ Why can't I just move on? She made her choice! She didn't need me! I guess everyone needs a scapegoat huh? I guess that's all she ever saw in me, someone expendable. I'll show her....I'll show everyone! I will prove that I am somebody! That I am good at something! Even if I have to knock Adora down a peg or two to do it!  _

She thought as she slowed her pace, finally noticing how far away that she had actually gotten in her attempt to get her mind out of the past.

_ There's no need to get emotional over shit. I've been through worse than this! I've dealt with Beatrix being a bitch...I dealt with paying for Adora's mistakes as well as my own. But I'll show everyone that I am not who they think I am, I am not some weak, useless, fool with no purpose! _

She told herself before debating if she should head back or not, it wasn't like anyone would really give a crap that she had left anyway. 

_ I am my own person...I don't need anyone, even if it does help to have Scorpia around... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is so short. I promise the next chapter will be longer.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra ends up in tears and Adora starts wondering just what the heck is going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, Catra is Hydrophobic...But there is a reason for that...As Scorpia finds out somewhere in the next chapter. 
> 
> Also I want to thank all of you who have left Kudos and Comments. Trust me, it gives me a push toward continuing this story (especially when I have had one of those days).

“One word and I _will_ make you regret it.” 

Scorpia heard as soon as Catra walked into their apartment dripping water all over the place and looking akin to a drowned rat. 

“Okay...But can I ask just _why_ you're dripping all over the floor?” Scorpia asked, earning a huff as her roommate stormed on through the house. 

“No!” 

_ Okay...That was unusual....Even for her.  _

Scorpia thought as she moved to get a mop, letting out a huff of annoyance at the shorter girl. 

_ She better start trying to work out whatever is wrong with her today because whatever it is...It's going to start eating at her and drive her nuts. _

As soon as Catra was inside the bathroom she tried to calm her racing heart although if it was from her earlier panic or the fact that she had run all the way from the school, she wasn't sure. 

_ How could she laugh! She knows...She friggin' knows!  _ She thought, slamming her fist into the wall as she turned her back on her reflection.  _ She knows and yet she still laughed...I guess since she has new,  **better** friends nothing else matters.  _

_ Not like I ever did. _

She hated the fact that she had nearly freaked out in front of half of the school. That she had shown  _ fear  _ in front of a whole crowd of people—a weakness that she knew that she couldn't take back.

“Damn it!” she muttered under her breath, leaning against the door as she felt hot tears mix with the cold, dirty water that still clung to her skin. 

_ Why am I so friggin' weak? Why can't I just do something right? _

Scorpia didn't know what to think—or do—when she heard the sounds of muffled sobbing coming from the closed bathroom. One part of her wanted to ask what was wrong, although she knew anything that direct would only make the other girl close off even more and Catra didn't need to do that. 

That was obvious if she felt so strongly about something that she was crying in the bathroom, rather loudly. 

_ Okay, I definitely need to call Entrapta because whatever the hell happened today had to be pretty bad. Catra's the toughest person I know. _ She thought as she silently sent a text to Entrapta, who almost instantly replied with:

“Well, I can't send you the pic floating around online because my memory is full but you know that creek that runs behind the school? She decided to try out of the soccer team and kinda tripped and you know how Catra is about water that reaches anywhere near her face.”

_ Oh for the love of...Yep...I diffidently want to drive all the way back to the Weavers' place and kick some ass. No wonder the girl is freaking out! _ She thought as she leaned back onto the couch, pinching the bridge of her nose. 

Her phone buzzed again, causing her to groan and glance down, only to wince at what she saw.

_ Fan-Friggin'-Tastic! And  **that** made a bad day worse....That's it...Catra's going to have to explain to me just what in the hell happened with Beatrix and why everything is going on! _ She decided with a sigh as she got up and threw a clean towel into the dryer to warm it.

_ At least I can try to do something right and make sure she is somewhat comfortable.  _

“Guys come on, she seemed pretty freaked out.” Bow stated as Glimmer made another joke about what the tanned skinned girl's hair had looked like when wet, earning a sigh from Adora who nodded and fell back onto the grass.

“I know. I don't remember her _ever_ being afraid of anything though...Well besides the dark but that's just typical kid stuff.” she said, folding her arms behind her head as she tried to search her brain for any memory—even a snippet—of her former best friend ever saying or even just indicating being afraid.

“Well I know one thing, with her agility coach would be an idiot if she's not chosen! I mean before she tripped up, did you notice how fast she was moving? I mean if we have her and Adora on the same team we'd be invincible!”

Bow continued as he stood, turning toward them, eyes shining as he added:

“Imagine if all three of us got on the team! You two could work out whatever it is between you two and I'd have one of my best buds to hang out with on away games!”

Adora forced a smile although she couldn't seem to get the image of Catra's almost panic-stricken expression out of her head, especially since the look had morphed into one of hurt when her duel-toned eyes had met her own.

_ Why did her expression change so much when she saw me there? She acted like she hated my guts earlier. Ugh...I know Catra's always been...Well complicated but she is starting to give me whiplash.  _ Adora thought as she let out a sigh. 

_ I really need to try to talk to her tomorrow and see what all of this is about. I mean, I know half of it but something about the way she acted today, not only before she bit my head off at lunch but when she looked at me during tryouts....Something just doesn't seem right about this whole thing. It doesn't seem like she is still the Catra that I knew. _

“Adora? Earth to Adora? You hear anything I've been saying?” 

Glimmer's voice cut her from her thoughts, causing her to sit up.

“Hm? Sorry, I kind of zonked out there. I guess it just bugs me that she hates me. I mean we used to do _everything_ together.” the blonde admitted, feeling a hand come to rest on her own.

“Hey, it's like my mom always says, if it's meant to be it'll work out so if you two are fated to be friends things will work out.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora attempts to talk to Catra...That goes as well as you expect it to. 
> 
> Bow develops a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be a lot darker since Catra does tell Scorpia a little bit of what happened during her childhood. It was going to be a part of this chapter but it seemed to mess up the flow so I decided to have it open the next chapter.
> 
> Warning: use of a certain slur that starts with R that may be offensive (basically Shadow Weaver/Beatrix is not a good person and telling that to a kid repetitively makes 'em start to believe it)

* * *

“You know you can't just keep bottling everything up right? I mean it's _obvious_ you didn't get any sleep last night.”

Scorpia stated as she pushed a cup of coffee across the counter to Catra, who just glared at her before taking a drink, making a face as she did so.

“Ugh. What did you make this out of? Tar? I definitely need cream _and_ sugar this morning because _this_ tastes like straight up toxic sludge.” Catra said as she turned toward the fridge, muttering under her breath all the time about Scorpia trying to poison her.

“Oh come on, it can't be that bad. I mean they actually sell this blend pretty well at the coffee shop and you're always complaining about me getting the vanilla flavored.” Scorpia stated, earning a look in response.

“Oh really? Why don't you try it then? The vanilla might taste like ass but it's not going to kill anyone... **this...** whatever you wanna call it is going to end up giving someone caffeine poisoning or something...If it doesn't explode a coffee pot first.” Catra retorted, putting a hand on her hip as she sent Scorpia a look that clearly dared her to actually try the liquid.

Scorpia did as suggested, only to suppress a shudder.

“Okay, yeah...that's gross. Why did people recommend that?” she grumbled, earning a laugh.

“How about _I_ buy the coffee on my way home from work today? At least I won't buy something that tastes like sugar sprinkled shit or the lagoon the creature crawled out of.” Catra stated as she tried to make her drink drinkable.

“Remind me to give that bag of coffee to Entrapta...She is the only person who could possibly like _that_ kind of flavor.” Scorpia muttered, nodding as she poured the rest of her own cup down the sink.

“You know, that stuff probably will eat through the pipes or something. I swear this is like that crap in those comic books that mutate everything it touches.”

Catra tried to ignore the laughter and whispers that were directed at her all that day during school, which made her glad that she didn't deal with social media because she could only imagine what they were talking about on there and needless to say that by the time that lunch rolled around, she was not in the mood to deal with anything and frankly felt the need to hit something.

Unfortunately for her, that was also when Adora decided to cut her off in the hall, leaving no room for her to walk away and get as far away from the blonde that she could.

“Catra, we need to talk.”

Adora really hoped that Bow was right and that this whole thing would work and Catra would at least accept her apology for laughing the previous day, although before she had realized that the other girl had been ready to freak out it had been pretty funny.

“No, we don't. What's there to talk about? That the retard is afraid of water?” Catra snapped, brushing past her although Adora ignored that and followed her.

“Who said that about you?” the blonde asked, earning a scoff.

“and you care why? What are you going to do, Tell them off? Yeah, like you told off Beatrix when she would say similar shit right, _princess?”_ Catra snapped, hands balling so tightly that her knuckles were turning white.

“I don't need your pity or whatever the hell it is! I don't _**need**_ anyone!” she added after noticing that Adora was speechless. “I especially don't need a _**liar**_.”

Adora was at a loss for words at this, after all, she didn't know where any of this was coming from.

_Lair? When did I lie to her? Is this about me reporting Beatrix or the whole thing about her thinking that I was just going to leave her there? She never said that I was a lair though...out of all the things she **did** say. When did I pity her? Seriously, she was always stronger than I was...No matter what anyone ever said to her, she never really let it get to her and she would always just shrug everything off. _

“This isn't pity. I came to apologize about yesterday. I shouldn't have laughed but I didn't know that you were scared until...” Adora began only to be cut off again.

“Oh yeah, you totally didn't know! You grew up in the same fucking foster home Adora! You _know_ how Beatrix was!” Catra practically yelled, not caring that they were drawing a crowd or that she was almost crying at this point.

“You were always miss perfect and you never dared to stand up to anyone, not even once. Not even when you always said that I was your best friend!”

For a brief moment Adora half expected Catra to punch her however the other girl just turned and pushed roughly past everyone, leaving her standing there speechless.

“I don't even _know_ what she was talking about Bow! I mean...I know that Beatrix was like manipulative and emotionally abusive which was why I wanted to get us out of there but she acts like there are things that I _should_ know that I don't!”

Adora complained as she fell backward onto the boy's bed as she ranted.

“Well, maybe there are things that you don't know. Maybe more things happened to Catra when you weren't around. I mean, you did say that Beatrix did treat you both as more of a means to meet an end than children and that she treated Catra like dirt.” he responded, looking up from his computer and adding:

“On a brighter side of things, You both made the soccer team! That will give you two a chance to actually have to interact so maybe you will get a chance to ask her about it.” Bow stated before moving to sit next to her on the bed.

“you know, maybe I can help you and her figure it out? I mean I did make friends with the one they call Entrapta and I noticed that she hangs out with your moody childhood best friend. Maybe she would know something? They seem close?”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is a discussion of abuse in this chapter.

* * *

Adora couldn't get Catra's words out of her head as she walked home from Bow's that evening. What had she meant when she said she had known what Beatrix had been? What had Beatrix done to Catra that had resulted in her being terrified of something so much? Why hadn't Catra ever told her anything about it? Had she assumed that Adora had known about it? Was that what she meant? This whole thing hurt her head.

 _How can I talk to her if every time I try she goes all defense mode and now we're going to see each other every day and_ _**that** _ _is not going to be easy...Especially for Catra. I just hope she doesn't decide to quit the team before she even starts because she is really quick._

She was so preoccupied with her thoughts that she didn't even notice where she was walking until she had tripped on the curve and would have fallen face down onto the concrete had it not been for someone grabbing her from behind.

“You're still hopelessly lost in the clouds, huh Adora?”

recognizing the voice instantly as belonging to Catra, Adora rushed to straighten herself up, turning and offering the other girl a glare.

“So you're talking to me now? What the hell Catra?” She said although the other girl just shrugged.

“Would you rather I let you give yourself brain damage by being a klutz?”

_Okay, Catra really **is** giving me whiplash now. _

“Catra about...” Adora began however the other teen just cut her off.

“Just because I saved you from giving yourself a concussion doesn't mean I _like_ you or something. Don't go getting any ideas that I ever want to talk to you again, got that?”

Catra didn't even sound convincing to herself although the look on Adora's face told her that her former best friend _was_ convinced and for some reason that _hurt._

_Why do I care if I hurt her? She left me behind when she knew how much that bitch disliked me. She knew how bad it was for me...that I always had nightmares but yet she just forgot me. She didn't even try to call or anything._ She reminded herself bitterly however shes suddenly felt as if she had swallowed lead. _ugh...Stupid emotions, why the hell do I feel bad?_

“See you around I guess, I gotta go to work.”

Scorpia sighed as she balanced the phone between her shoulder and ear while she worked to make dinner since today was her day off and she knew she couldn't trust Catra to actually cook anything that was more complicated than five minute noodles since the other girl had a habit of burning everything.

“You know she's going to be really ticked off if we do that Entrapta, like seriously this is like something on her **do not talk about** list.” She said just as she heard the door open “and speaking of Catra, she just came home.”

She knew that she would need to approach this topic as carefully as possible or this would just result in Catra shutting down and locking herself in her room.

“What's up with this? As soon as I walk in to find you having a phone conversation about me,” Catra said just as Scorpia hung up, rolling her eyes at the sheepish look that came over her friend's face.

“This is about the water thing isn't it?”

Scorpia let out a breath as she turned her full attention toward her roommate, unsure how to even began.

“Catra, I have never seen you act like you did yesterday and I'm afraid of more stuff than _you_ are but you can't lie and tell me that you weren't freaked out yesterday. We're just worried about you, you know?”

she tried to explain, earning a sigh from Catra who headed toward the living room area.

“Fine, you wanna know the truth? I'll tell you but I swear if you get all pity-party on me I will punch you.” she responded but something in her voice sounded so defeated that Scorpia didn't know if she should press on or not.

Catra didn't want to even _think_ about this anymore but she knew that Scorpia probably would keep bugging her about it until she finally told her. Besides, maybe talking about it would help her conscience remember why she didn't want to speak to Adora again in the first place. But as she took a seat on the uncomfortably bumpy couch, she struggled to figure out where to begin.

 _ Should I start with the lesser stuff or just tell her about the water thing since she seems to just ask about _ that. She wondered breifly before deciding that it would be a lot easier to just talk about _one_ event besides many.

After all, one night full of nightmares was enough.

“Have you ever feared for your own life?”

The question caught Scorpia off guard but before she could say anything Catra continued.

“Adora and I were crazy kids...I mean there wasn't _anything_ that we wouldn't do but _I_ always got the worst of it when our exploits blew up in our faces. One time we ended up covered in mud, but of course, I got the worst end of it. Beatrix basically held my head under the facet and to be honest I thought she was going to drown me. I was maybe seven at the time? I don't really remember...But ever since if water gets anywhere near my face I panic.”

Scorpia felt a knot forming in her throat as she listened to her friend talk. _How could she be so nonchalant about it? Especially with it still effecting her after all those years._

“I'm so sorry I didn't have any idea...”

She began, however, the other girl just waved her off.

“Yeah, I know. You didn't get stuck there until after your parents died and besides that, you were big enough to break her in two if you really wanted to.” Catra retorted, sighing as her gaze settled onto the floor because she knew that if she looked at Scorpia and saw the pity that she knew was painted across her face, that she would completely break and she had done enough crying to last a life time. But after a while, her emotions won over, although she quickly brushed the tears away.

_Stop letting it get to you Catra, getting emotional is not going to help one damn bit.  
_

“Adora didn't seem to _care_ about what happened to me but she was the only thing close to a friend I had, you know? I was too brash for other kids in our class and she didn't look down on me like everyone else did...Or at least I _thought_ she didn't, but I guess the friendship of a hopeless idiot isn't worth much, huh?”

“I am so sorry you went through all of that. If _I_ had known I...” Scorpia began as she put her arms around Catra, who flinched but otherwise didn't move.

“Don't...Just don't okay? I don't want to hear it. It happened and it's over.”

Scorpia sighed then but didn't finish what she was inetually going to say but instead, she changed tactic.

"You're not an idiot, you know. You might not make the best grades _but_ I have never seen someone who can plan things down to the second like you can." She said, earning a humorless snort from Catra.

"as if that is going to get me anywhere Scorpia. But nice try."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra gets more confused than usual.

* * *

"I have never heard something so awful!" Bow said as he, Entrapta, and Scorpia met in the school's library the next day, attempting to discuss the current situation between Adora and Catra.

"Problem is, I don't think that Adora really knows the full extent of it because she isn't the kind to just sit and ignore all of that," Scorpia said, brow furrowing as she glanced around to make sure that no one was within hearing range before she added 

"I just wish there was a way to force them to talk to each other."

"I got it!" Bow exclaimed after a while, making all three of them thank their stars that the library was basically empty.

"The spring fling is coming up. I'll convince Glimmer to help and we'll basically set them two up, not on a date or anything but like....make them interact and talk to each other. I mean most people go to have fun and I don't remember Adora ever actually dancing before." he continued once he had the girl's attention.

"Come to think about it, Catra doesn't either. Are you sure that's a good idea?" Entrapta questioned, earning a chuckle from Scorpia.

"Catra's in hedgehog mode. If she thinks she can ruin Adora's night she'll go...unexpected to get stuck talking to Adora."

“Don't expect me to do anything more than bringing it up because the last time I ticked her off she threatened to break my gaming PC and I am _not_ rebuilding that again!” Entrapta stated, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I take it that happened before?”

“Oh yeah, she downloaded _something_ and it sent the whole thing into a frenzy...Took me hours just to figure out what the problem was!”

“Why do you even try? I mean, she basically has been a total jerk every time you have spoken to her.” Glimmer began as she and Adora entered the gym.

“Because I want to know _why_ she is being like this. I mean she keeps mentioning Beatrix _but_ I have no idea what happened!” Adora answered, sighing before dropping her bag onto the bleachers.

“Come on, we'd better go changed.”

It didn't take long for her to get changed for P.E but as she was putting the rest of her clothing away in a locker for practice later that day, she heard someone walk up to her.

“Hey Adora.”

Adora who didn't expect someone to basically speak right into her ear jolted at the sudden noise-banging her head on the top shelf of her locker in response.

“You know, for someone who never wants to speak to me again you sure are chatty.” She quipped, turning to face Catra who just smirked and leaned against the door.

“Who else is there to talk to in this sweat covered hell? Everyone here is an ass, Octavia hates my guts and Sparkles over there keeps leering at me like I have the plague. Who the hell comes up with that kind of name anyway?” Catra responded as Adora nudged her out of the way to shut the door.

“Her name is Glimmer and she is one of my best friends and besides that, you're a fine one to talk when the name you prefer is Catra.” Adora retorted, earning a huff in response.

“You helped me come up with that name, remember? A play on the name Katrina or something and **anything** is better than Cyra after Shadow Weaver wore it out.” Catra retorted, much to Adora's surprise.

“Shadow Weaver? You remember that? Man, that feels like it happened ages ago!”

Catra couldn't help but sigh as she regarded the blonde, memories of bygone years flooding back for her.

“That's because it was.” She answered, ready to walk away when a hand suddenly grabbed hers.

“Catra, I really am sorry about the other day. I had no idea you were afraid of water.”

Catra could tell that Adora wasn't lying about that at least.

“Don't worry about it.”

Catra tried to pull away but found that the blonde was stronger than she looked.

“No, I know I shouldn't have laughed and I...”

Catra chose that moment to cut her off because she was _not_ going to let Adora guilt her into feeling bad again. No way, no how.

“If the next two words are either I'm sorry or any of its variants I will personally make you wish that you hadn't gone there!”

She said, hoping to sound at least somewhat threatening however a ghost of a smile just came over Adora's features.

“Okay, I won't say it.

Catra didn't know why she was still walking with Adora or why she was even listening to her but something seemed to draw her back to Adora, forcing her to stay and endure the inevitable trip down memory lane. Catra wanted to blame the fact that Adora really hadn't changed much since they were just children, but she knew even nostalgia wouldn't make conversation come as easy as it seemed to now that the ice was broken.

But this was wrong wasn't it? Catra couldn't help but wonder because after all, hadn't Adora abandoned her?

“You know, when I first moved in with Mara I couldn't sleep like at all because I was so used to you being somewhere in the room, even if it was curled up almost under my bed...Well until you saw that mouse.”

Catra shot the other girl a glare at that.

_Again, you know those things creep me out, Adora._

“When are you going to let it go? You literally put a rubber mouse in my Cereal bowl as an April fools prank once.” Catra said, crossing her arms over her chest as Adora burst into laughter.

“Oh come on, you seriously can't still be mad about that! We were ten! Besides, you literally caught a beetle and put it in my water bottle as payback!”

Catra couldn't help it anymore, she laughed. It was just too easy falling back into the same patterns no matter how desperately she didn't want to. It just seemed to come naturally.

“Hey, if anyone uses a weakness against me I'm using theirs on them! Besides, I have a reason to hate anything even remotely rodent.” Catra retorted, realizing quickly that she had said too much and probably would end up getting interrogated if she didn't find a way to change the topic quickly.

“Hey, you were captain of the Junior high team, right? Let's see what you're made up because I _doubt_ you can keep up with me!” she said, hoping that the blonde would take the bait.

And it worked.

Both Adora's lungs and legs felt as though they were on fire by the time that Catra had stopped running, barely winded from the exertion.

“What's wrong _Princess_? Can't keep up? Maybe I'll be captain this time around!” Catra jeered, only to be waved off.

“As long as I don't have to race you again, you can have it. When did you get so fast?” Adora panted in response.

“More like when did you get so slow? You used to be able to keep up!” Catra countered smugly before adding in a more serious tone “Honestly, I think it has to do with gymnastics. I signed up so I could stay as far away from Beatrix as I could. Needless to say, I carpooled to contests _a lot_ but it was worth it.”

Catra knew that it was only half the truth but Adora didn't need to know that.

“That would explain why you basically turn into a liquid...If you don't end up team captain by next year, no one will.”

Catra couldn't believe what she was hearing. Adora had to be baiting her, right? She wasn't good at soccer or any other team sport, hell, she wouldn't have even taken gymnastics had it not been for needing something to keep her mind off of the intrusive thoughts that had practically consumed her for a while.

“Keep on dreaming, blondie. You always get picked for everything. It's always Adora does it best and Adora is better! Like seriously even after you left, everyone was still comparing people to you!”

Catra couldn't keep the bitterness out of her tone, especially since a voice in the back of her mind seemed to be saying: _**You'll never be as smart or talented as Adora is! You are nothing compared to her, dirt before her feet.** _

“Cat, come on. You are just as talented as I am! Especially where planning is involved. Just because Beatrix Weaver basically brainwashed you....” Adora began, although Catra cut her off with:

“She did not brainwash me!”

Ignoring her former best friend, Adora continued “She made you believe that you were not worth anything Catra, do you think that I cared about winning against you? Or that I cared when you made better grades on something than I did? Well, I didn't because I _knew_ that was the only time you felt worth anything!”

Adora sounded so angry that it caught Catra off guard.

Since when did she become so morally infested?

“Catra, I remember you would _cry_ into your pillow late at night. I remember how _afraid_ you were of _them_ despite how brave you tried to act. I don't know what they did to you but I sure as hell didn't want that for my best friend.”

Catra wasn't sure how to respond to that. How could she?

One part of her actually _believed_ Adora, or at least wanted to while another part of her didn't.

But Adora had always been bad at lying—at least to Catra—But now, now that everything had changed so much between them, how could she be sure?

“Save your pity for someone else Adora...I don't want or need it. All that was a long time ago and I'm my own person now.” she said, wincing at how pathetic she sounded.

_Why can't I just stay mad? Hating her would be easy...Or **should** be so why isn't it? Why do I give a damn with what she does say? _

“It's not pity, Catra. You're the reason I called Hope, to begin with...I wanted to get both of us out of there. I just never told you because had Lonnie or someone else overheard it, they would have just ratted us out and everything would have been ruined.” Adora said, her tone sounding much more mature than it should at her age and Catra, for once found herself wanting to let her guard down.

But she wouldn't.

Not for Adora. Not for anyone.

“Say whatever you want Adora, I don't believe you,” she said, although that too was a lie.

_I don't know who to believe._

“I'm not asking you to. I know I hurt you and I can't take it back. I just want you to know the truth and make your own judgments.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scorpia forgets to tell Catra something important. (just filler, the next chapter will be longer and may finally have a certain pair of dumbasses talk about what is going on between them)

* * *

Two weeks and one soccer game passed by relatively quickly for Adora, who chose not to worry too much about Catra outside of the field since the other girl either got defensive or just all out ignored her. During practice and games they talked—or rather Adora talked, Catra just jeered and poked fun most of the time. Adora knew that was just Catra being Catra, really. But something about the awkwardness that still hung around the girl seemed to throw her off.

Why was Catra so awkward if she hated her? Besides that, Catra wasn't being in particularly  _ mean  _ about anything, just competitive which was by Adora's standards was better than whatever that first week of half-focus was. But there was one thing that Adora couldn't figure out: Why wasn't Catra being honest with her? 

She could tell when something was bothering the other girl but  _ what  _ she didn't understand was why Catra—and to an extent, her friends—seemed to be trying to keep it a secret.  _ Was it something I said or did in the past? Was it something thank Beatrix or Hector did?  _ She wondered although something seemed to tell her that it was one of the latter that had caused this whole mess.

And her money was on Beatrix—after all the woman hadn't been a mother to either of them  _ but  _ she had treated Catra more like an object than a person.

“Are you sure that this is a good idea? I mean Catra has been...Withdrawn since they transferred here and I don't think that she'd appreciate us just dropping in like this.” she said, snapping out of her thoughts as she followed Bow into a part of town she didn't recognize.

“Scorpia knows we're coming, she invited us, remember? Besides she said Catra would _probably_ be asleep most of the day since we had a game the other day.” he answered simply 

“Remind me again why I got drug along to this? I mean I understand that Adora actually knows these people but from what I know about Catra, I'm pretty sure that I don't want to be within five feet of her. I mean she's snide, rude, not to mention the fact that she...” Glimmer began although Adora cut her off.

“Trust me when I say that she meant it when she apologized and at least she didn't hit you in the face with a soccer ball. It could have been worse than a milkshake.” 

This earned confused looks from both of her friends before Glimmer spoke again, eyes hardening 

“wait, she hit you in the face with a ball and you still want to be friends with her?” 

Adora just rolled her eyes and walked on ahead   


“It was during practice and I was the goalie. It was an accident and she wasn't the only one who kicked the ball way too hard that day.” 

“You invited _who_ here? Really? Are you out of your mind? Like yeah, I understand inviting what's his face, Kyle and _maybe_ Bow but the whole damn team? Seriously?” 

Scorpia couldn't recall if she had ever heard Catra's voice going as high as it was in that moment or seen her look halfway panicked. 

“Hey, I am over the yearbook this year and I want to make as many friends as possible okay? Besides, it would do _you_ some good to actually be social for once.” Scorpia countered and if looks could have killed, she would have fallen dead there.

“There is just one problem, everyone on the team hates me or did you forget that little detail?” Catra practically snarled just as the doorbell rang.

“Go put on something decent besides your pajamas while I go answer the door. Not everyone hates you on the team, Bow and Adora don't.” 

Catra found that she had no choice but skulking back to her room, slamming the door behind her while she tried to figure out just what the hell she would wear. Was this thing going to be formal? Semi-formal? Casual? She was seriously going to kill Scorpia for not telling her about this beforehand. 

“stupid Scorpia, stupid soccer, stupid party...Ugh what the hell am I going to wear?” she mumbled to herself as she stalked over to her closet, muttering all the while as she searched through her things.

_ This better not be one of her wild ideas to set me up with somebody or some shit. I swear that girl has mud for brains sometimes. Maybe I can just hide in here for a while...That way I don't have to deal with idiots and weird whatever-the-hell-we-are people. What are Adora and I anyway? Rivals? Enemies? Ugh...I woke up from my nap at the wrong time today. _


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A power outtage may have ruined Scorpia's party but something good does come from it after all.

* * *

Catra managed to stay out of the way not wanting to ruin Scorpia's day by punching someone in the face, yet she couldn't help but feel a bit of _something_ whenever she saw Adora and her friends interacting. But she wasn't jealous.

She couldn't be, after all, she hated Adora for what she did.

Didn't she?

Catra wasn't sure what she was feeling anymore—if she was being honest with herself anyway—but falling back into old patterns would have been too easy and Catra was determined not to set herself up to be hurt or overshadowed again, Yet it was just too easy to find herself enjoying the blonde's company.

To find things slipping back into normalcy between them.

But Catra didn't forgive her.

Did she?

She didn't want to, or at least she was pretty sure she didn't but not speaking would make being on the same team difficult and there was no way that Catra was going to try to be captain of the junior team—she wasn't so desperate that she was going to put up with junior high and middle school students.

Sighing she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, trying to focus on the sound of blaring music to keep herself from thinking too much.

_Get it together Catra, you are acting like some kind of kicked puppy...What the hell is up with that? You don't need anyone!_ She mentally scolded herself after a while, heading toward the stairs only to pause to see that a storm was raging outside.

_Thank the stars that the music is so loud...I do not want to deal with Scorpia's Astraphobia today._ She thought as a streak of lightning shot through the sky. She glanced back toward the teenager in question, only to find her laughing at something that Kyle was saying.

_Well, I know that she at least has some friends here so I'm not needed. I showed up, that's all I promised her I would do._

Adora hadn't been sure what to expect when Scorpia had invited them over but _this_ was not it although she figured that her being a bit judgmental of the taller girl was half of the reason she had been so hesitant. The other reason—of course—had barely spoken to her and skulked around the snack table all evening before vanishing.

She tried not to think too much about it, knowing that if Catra wanted to talk to anyone that she would and anything that even seemed like forcing her to do something would just blow up in their faces—and Adora preferred the strange rivalry that they had developed over the past few weeks to _whatever_ her prickly, defensive demeanor from that first week could have been called. But even Adora couldn't tell herself that she could ever completely let go of Catra—who knew her better than anyone.

Pushing Catra from her mind she turned her attention fully to Bow and Glimmer who were trying to explain to her just what this strange dance that some of the other people where doing, however then a loud crack filled the air followed by the lights going out.

Everything was chaos as some scrambled to help Scorpia light candles while others prepared to go home. Adora however, was more concerned about something—or rather someone—who wasn't in the room.

It felt as though she couldn't breathe, like the walls were going to come crumbling in at any moment and suddenly it was like she was a little kid again, trapped in the dark compounds to wait until Beatrix's anger had subsided and she returned to release her.

_It's just a power outage Catra, calm down._

She told herself but she couldn't seem to get her body to stop shaking and it felt as if her heart was about to come flying out of her chest and she felt ridiculous.

If anyone ever found out about this they would never let her live it down. After all, what sixteen year old was afraid of the dark?

_They didn't live with the same people you did. They would be afraid too._

The voice in the back of her head told her although she ignored it.

_No, they wouldn't. They would have run away or fought back...Not just stay around like an affection-starved puppy._ Catra told herself as she buried her face into her arms hoping that if she didn't _see_ the darkness around her that at least her body would stop shaking so damn much.

It felt like forever that she had been sitting there until a hand gently touched her shoulder, causing her to jolt away as if she had been burned, although she couldn't help but relax once she saw that it was just Adora knelt beside of her, holding a single candle.

“Catra? Are you alright?”

The tone in Adora's voice caught Catra off guard. She had expected to be laughed at or something, not this. Not that familiar concerned tone that had been directed at her all during her childhood.

“Do I look like I'm okay, Adora?” She retorted, trying to sound threatening, however, the effect was lost under the quivering of her voice.

_Why do I have to be so pathetic?_

“You're still afraid of the dark.” Adora guessed as she tentatively reached out and ran a hand through the other girl's mane of hair, relaxing once Catra didn't pull away.

“You would be to but you were lucky to be their favorite.”

Catra answered, confusing the blonde for a minute before realization hit her like a ton of bricks and her blood turned cold.

“Catra, I knew you were afraid of the dark but I never really understood why. Does it have something to do with....what they did to you at the home?”

_How could I have been so stupid? Of course, it does!_

The blonde berated herself as she slowly moved to sit on the bed next to the other girl, who didn't seem to even notice her position had changed.

“Why do you think I started calling her Shadow Weaver after we learned about the black widow at school? She was like a spider...Sucking me dry Adora. _**You**_ were the only reason that I didn't go crazy. No matter how many times she locked me in the basement or hit me...I knew that I had _someone_ who gave a damn.” Catra said after a while, not daring to look toward the girl because she knew that even in the dim light that came from the candle, she would see that stupid, empathetic look.

And she knew that she would have no choice but to crumble if she saw those eyes again.

“Oh my god...Catra why didn't you ever tell me what she was doing? I mean when I asked her where you were when you just disappeared she said that you were grounded and well...I knew that she locked the door and there was no way I was going anywhere near her room after I got you in trouble that one time.” Adora began, only to feel Catra pull away.

“I wanted to tell you but I also didn't want _you_ to end up in the same boat as me. You were her favorite...and despite how _jealous_ I would get of you sometimes...I knew that you didn't mean to be better than me. That you didn't think that you were.” the other girl responded, closing her eyes as a familiar pressure began to build behind them.

“No matter how many times I lay awake listening to rats scurrying around the basement...No matter how many times she punished me. I knew that in the end, no matter what I had _you_ then you just made plans to leave without me....I...it hurt okay? It fucking hurt. I was losing the only person in this whole damn world that cared about me.”

As Catra said this her voice broke and she struggled in vain to keep the tears back.

“you left...Just like everyone else. You just up and left! I felt as if I was at fault...Like something was _wrong_ with me, Adora! I thought that for two years...until our talk a few weeks ago and then...I just don't know anymore Adora...About anything!”

Adora couldn't believe what she was hearing, well she could but she couldn't believe that Catra had kept something like this from her and had only told her when she was already in an emotionally drained state. But despite all of that, she pulled the other girl into an embrace—which to her surprise—she didn't pull out of.

“I know it doesn't mean anything but I am so sorry Catra. I am sorry I made you feel like that, I am sorry that all that shit happened to you and I'm sorry that I failed to keep my promise to always be there. You have every right to hate me.”

Adora hadn't even noticed that she had started to cry as well until she felt Catra pull away and put a hand on her cheek.

“I don't hate you. Hell...even I couldn't lie to myself about that and I think that's enough of this sappy stuff for a while...We're both a mess.” Catra said with a ghost of a smile as she pulled away.

“So I guess this means you want to try to be friends again?” Adora asked, earning a chuckle.

“To be honest Adora, I think we already are...sort of.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora invites Catra and her friends to go to the Carnival with her, Glimmer and Bow.

“is it just me or is she _worse_ since you two made up?” Glimmer asked one day at lunch, arching a brow at Adora who just sighed and shrugged. 

“You mean the weird smelling stuff in my locker and the fact that the jerk just stole my fries? I don't think I'd call that worse because she used to do crap like that _all_ the time when we were in the group home.” Adora answered, rolling her eyes as she glared across the room at the aforementioned girl who just stuck her tongue out at her in response. 

“Excuse me one second.” Adora added before making her way over to the table where Catra and the others were sitting. 

“I found your little _present_ in my locker and now my gym clothes smell like they're straight out of some grandmother's attic.” Adora said, earning a smirk as Catra leaned back in her chair.

“I have no idea what you're talking about, _princess._ ”

Adora let out a huff as she narrowed her eyes at the other girl.

“You're insufferable, you know that? And stop calling me princess...I can still kick your ass any day of the week.” she retorted, earning a grin 

“Would love to see you try but you can't even get a goal past me let alone anything else.” 

Catra knew how to get Adora wiled up and also knew that by doing so, she would just see how much of  _her_ Adora was left after the blonde had left the slums.

“Oh do you wanna bet on that?” Adora retorted and Catra couldn't help but find herself feeling as though nothing had really changed between them because right then and there she was sure that Adora was _still_ the take-nothing-from-anyone overachiever that she had gone through elementary school with.

“Aren't you and your flunkies doing something after school today? When are you going to have time to prove me wrong?” Catra questioned smugly, not even noticing that Entrapta and Scorpia were staring at them as if expecting them to get into a brawl at any moment.

“We're going to the carnival and I was going to ask you guys to come with us _but_ if you're not up for a challenge...” Adora began watching as surprise wrote itself across all three of the other teenagers faces. 

“Wait, you're asking us to hang out with your group?” 

It was Scorpia who spoken, breaking the other two from their stupor.

“Yeah, of course.” 

she answered only to be scooped into an embrace a moment later which only managed to cause Catra to erupt into laughter.

“Wait, you've never been to a carnival before? I mean I know that Adora never had a party but since you lived on your own....” Bow began, earning a sigh from Catra who shrugged. 

“Never been on my agenda and as a kid we were lucky to have a box of crayons to our name,” she answered, glancing across the crowded street to where Glimmer and Adora had went to get a deep-fried-something-or-other that sounded less than appealing to the tan skinned girl.

“I swear she's acting like a little kid tonight. I don't think I've ever seen her this relaxed.” Catra added after a few minutes, earning a light smile from Bow. 

“You really do care about her don't you?” he said, earning a glare as heat traveled into Catra's face.

“No! I....” Sighing she found _anything_ where else to look besides Adora or either of her stupid friends.

“Okay fine. She literally was my _**only**_ friend growing up and I'm glad to see her doing well but if you ever repeat any of this to _anyone_ I'll...” Catra began, however, she was stopped when he held up a hand.

“Don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone.” 

Catra was about to say something else but stopped as Scorpia and Entrapta pushed their way through the crowds.

“Hey Kitty! You have _got_ to see the size of the horse they have over there! The thing is huge!” 

Catra couldn't help but groan at the stupid nickname.

“Word of advice: Don't call me that _ever_. I have tried to get _her_ to stop but evidently, it doesn't register.” she muttered to Bow before glancing back toward Adora. 

_ Okay, so her friends aren't any worse than mine...and Mine are annoying as hell on a good day. I guess...Well I guess trying to enjoy myself tonight wouldn't hurt.  _

“I don't think I want to see an obese horse. I'm just waiting on little miss try everything over there to get done stuffing her face so we can go on some rides or something.” Catra responded before adding “How about we all meet up in an hour? I want to try to find something that _sounds_ even remotely like a food here.” 

Adora had realized that she had missed Catra and—despite having became angry at the rather stubborn and competitive girl—had found herself missing her companionship but she hadn't quiet realized exactly how much she had missed the rather lighthearted competition that had been a normal part of her childhood. At least until she and Catra found themselves at a shooting booth during one of their _competitions_ that night.

Where Adora was obviously better at games involving strength, Catra excelled at anything that involved aiming something somewhere and it became obvious after they had tried their hand at the same game five different times—with Catra coming out on top each time.

“How on earth are you that good?” Adora said after Catra had won yet again, this time the prize being a giant stuffed unicorn—which Catra thought she looked ridiculous with.

“yeah well I had a BB pistol at one point...Kinda taught myself on the rats.” she retorted before practically thrusting the stuffed animal into her arms, adding nonchalantly

“Don't say I never gave you anything, Adora.” 

“Uh thanks but I can't I mean....you won...” The blonde began, earning a scoff.

“What am I going to do with a stuffed animal? I've won like five tonight and if I really _**wanted**_ to keep one I would have kept the iguana...Lizard....Thing I gave to Kyle's boyfriend, not something covered in rainbows and sparkles. Now come on, let's go see what the rest of our idiot squad is up to. I swear I will walk home if Entrapta has had any more cotton candy. she's crazy enough without the sugar rush." 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter is short.

* * *

“what is up with her and mini cupcakes?” Adora whispered to Catra, earning a chuckle from the other girl who glanced over at Entrapta.

“She won't eat anything that is too big...Kind of a sensory thing. Same thing with the gloves...She tends to kinda get frazzled at certain kinds of textures.” Catra answered nonchalantly as she fell backward onto the grass, staring up at the stars.

_This is sort of nice...I mean...When was the last time I got to relax like this?_ She wondered, letting the conversation around her drift into a dull roar. Closing her eyes she tried not to think about anything and just enjoy the calmness that seemed to linger in the air. 

“There's Tara, I'm going to go say hi, I'll be right back.” 

She vaguely heard Bow say although she couldn't help but snort when she heard Glimmer's muttering once he left.

“Who's Tara? Another one of your friends?” Catra couldn't help herself but ask as she set up, earning a sigh from Adora while Glimmer excused herself to go get a drink.

“Yes...You know that girl in your biology class that done that experiment on plants?” Adora answered, earning a groan from Catra just returned to her previous position.

“The hippy-dippy one that gave me a sneezing fit. Perfuma or whatever the crap they call her. Are she and Bow dating or something? Or is Bow with Glitter girl?” She retorted and she could practically feel the hard look that Adora was probably sending her.

“No and No...at least I don't _think_ they are? Besides that, Are you _ever_ going to learn my friend's names?” the blonde answered, resisting the urge to shove the stuffed unicorn in Catra's face when she noticed the smirk that her response brought on.

“He,y, I called Crop-Top by his actual name.” Catra answered back

“Yeah, by some miracle you haven't stuck to calling him Bowl or Arrow this evening.” Adora knew that this was just Catra being—well—her usual sarcastic self, but she couldn't really help herself when she threw the unicorn at her, earning a squeak in response before Catra glared at her.

“Ugh...Seriously? I gave that abomination to you so I wouldn't have to look at it and _of course,_ you would hit me in the friggin' face with it!” Catra complained, tossing it back to her before standing up to attempt to get any stray glitter off her.  


Adora couldn't help but laugh aloud at her childhood best friend's reaction.

"I remember you used to sleep with a stuffed rainbow colored leopard...what did you call him?" Adora began, only to find herself shoved onto the ground by a blushing Catra.

"I was eight! Forget that happened!" Catra ordered, although she could hear Entrapta and Scorpia laughing along with the blonde.

_Well, at least Bow and Glimmer aren't here or I'd never live this down._

Getting home that night Adora sighed and fell back onto the couch, earning a glance from Angela who was sitting nearby.

“I know that face...What happened?” she asked, earning a look from the blonde who shrugged.

“I have no idea. I mean Glimmer and Bow are basically not speaking because of _something_ with Perfuma and Glimmer is dragging me into it—which I'm totally fine with usually but I'm friends with both of them and...ugh.” Adora chose to bury her face into the unicorn she had yet to take to her room at that.

“Those two will work it out. Trust me, _whatever_ it is their fights tend to be short lived.” Angela answered, chuckling slightly “I'm surprised this is the first time this sort of thing has happened...Knowing my daughter's temper.”

Moving to sit beside of the young girl, Angela added “I wouldn't worry about it too much. Whatever is going on will work itself out and you shouldn't feel as if you have to take sides, you care about them both and no one should expect you to just turn your back or something just because of some silly drama."   



	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has issues and Catra gets the scare of a lifetime.

Catra couldn't sleep.

Not only because she had consumed more sugar that day than she believed she had ever had in her life but because the words that kept repeating over and over in her head, words that she had heard right after splitting up with her friends—and Adora's group.

After all, she couldn't really call them her friends and it had taken her months to warm up to Scorpia and Entrapta—especially Scorpia. But then again, _everything_ had been harder then and she _had_ to find a place to stay. But still, thinking back on how she had basically _used_ the taller girl wasn't pleasant. 

But that had worked out, didn't it? 

Sighing she flopped onto her side, ignoring the sound of the mattress creaking beneath her as the words repeated in her mind once again.

_**You know they just feel sorry for you, the nobody who is trying to be anything but a street urchin. Well, guess what Catra, no one will ever stick around a freak like you long term** _ . 

She knew that it shouldn't affect her, that Lonnie was always an ass. 

But wasn't that also what  _ she  _ had said? That Catra didn't deserve happiness? That she was  _ nothing _ ? That Adora was just being nice? Catra didn't want to believe it and she most certainly didn't think that Adora would go to great lengths just to use someone but there was still that little voice in the back of her head that kept repeating “what if?”.

What if this was just something to sooth Adora's guilty conscience?   


What if this blew up in her face? What if Adora decided that she wasn't worth it? What if they  _**all** _ decided that. 

Catra knew she wasn't the nicest person on the planet but she still valued her friends—no matter how few that they were—and the thought of just losing them hurt.

Badly.

But who could she talk to about this? Scorpia? No, that would be barking up the wrong tree on a million different levels and she didn't want to know what Scorpia would suggest.

She  _ really  _ didn't want to deal with another session with a Dr. Phil wanna-be at one am in the morning. 

Groaning she sat up, glancing at the clock before grabbing her keys from the bedside table.

_ Screw this...I'm going for a walk. Late or not. Who gives a crap about school when I'm not going to be able to fall asleep any damn way. _ She thought with a sigh.

Catra had never been one to run away from anything. Not bullies when she was a child, not even Beatrix 'shadow' weaver. But her thoughts, on the other hand, she felt as though she had to escape before she was slowly overwhelmed by the voices that seemed to taunt her every thought. So she ran.

But even the crisp night air couldn't keep the voices out of her head.

Voices that sounded suspiciously like Shadow Weaver.

_**Worthless girl! You're lucky that you even have a roof over your head! Most people like you live in the streets, that's where you belong! Who else would keep you?** _

_**Adora just feels sorry for you, who would want to hang out with a freak like you?** _

_**Catra? What kind of dumb nickname is that? What are you? Stupid or something?** _

She wasn't watching where she was going, not really. No, her mind's eye was playing the past over before her as if it was some kind of horror show on repeat and her skin  _ burned  _ with every mental reminder of the physical and emotional pain.

She remembered the water and the beating she had gotten after all of that—all for being a typical child and returning inside messy. Adora obviously didn't get the same treatment and she was equally as guilty. She remembered the time that Lonnie—another child from the group home—had pushed her off a slide at school and broken her arm. 

He was still an ass. 

“Why won't you just stop!” 

she shouted to no one as she finally found herself coming to a complete stop. 

_ Stupid emotions...Why do they even have to exist? Things would be so much easier if I didn't feel so damn much. _ She thought bitterly as she glanced down at her hand, wincing at the bruising that was evident on her knuckles.  _ Well, I hope that bastard learns not to talk shit that he can't back up _ . 

She didn't have any idea to where she was going but she knew that she didn't want to go home just yet, especially so with a sigh she began to walk once more, not following any set path until she reached a crossroad that leads farther into town...alongside the woods that she had always been too creeped out by to explore. 

_ Adora and I always wondered what was in there, especially since people claimed to see flickering lights and stuff...and worse case scenario...I'll get lost and the idiot squad will start searching for me. Best case scenario I can find a gold mine or something and get the hell out of this place. _

“Can't you sleep either?” 

Adora nearly jumped out of her skin at the sudden voice—she did manage to fall out of the window seat in surprise—although she relaxed when she saw Angela standing in the doorway. 

“No, I read Mara's letter finally...Evidently, the visions and stuff are getting worse. They're trying her on a new medicine but she isn't exactly hopeful about it.” Adora confessed as she got to her feet and turned her attention back toward the window.

“At least she is seeking help. Some people who have problems try to self medicate until everything spirals out of control.” Angela reminded the teen as she closed the distance between them and put a hand on her shoulder. 

Angela tried  _ not  _ to notice how the teen leaned into the touch. 

“It seems that ever since I came here things keep getting worse and worse for her. Like what if I'm a trigger or something? Like what if I remind her of a fallen comrade or...” 

Angela cut her off before she could finish.

“Adora, she's an ex-soldier who specialized in artillery. War leaves scars on everything it touches and not all of them are physical. You staying with her did not bring on any of this...Yes, it seems she is slowly getting worse _but_ there is _nothing_ that a teen-aged kid could do to make an illness worsen.” Angela said, hoping that she was making sense and not sounding 'condescending'—as Glimmer so often accused her of.

“I'm going out to check on Swift Wind...I need _something_ to get my mind off it.” 

Angela could only nod, not really knowing how to take the teen who insisted on acting so strong most of the time.  _ Just what the world made her that way? She hasn't really relaxed since she moved in here...Maybe Glimmer knows something.  _

_ On second thought maybe I  _ _**should** _ _ ask Glimmer so I know exactly how to handle things like this. _

She thought with a sigh as she watched the blonde leave. 

Catra heard it before she ever saw anything. 

A hushed voice telling something—or someone—to stop moving before they hurt them, which of course set Catra into imagining all sorts of  _ worse case  _ scenarios that would probably have given any normal person nightmares.

But not Catra. No, Catra—rather being really brave or really dumb—decided to go toward the noise while armed with nothing more than a stick. Only to end up screaming a second later when something pale in color suddenly touched her cheek. 


	15. Chapter 15

“you punched a horse!”

“Well, the horse shouldn't have snuck up on me like that!”

Adora didn't know rather to laugh or go check on Swift Wind at that point because that whole scenario was just ridiculous—after all who in their right mind punches a fifteen hundred pound animal in the face?

Well, besides Catra.

“You really need to stop punching things on first instinct.” Adora retorted right before she lost it and doubled over with laughter.

“Yeah well, you should post beware of horse signs or something! What the hell are you even doing out here in the middle of the woods anyway? I mean besides obviously using your ten-ton animal to scare the living shit out of unexpecting victims!” Catra huffed, still rubbing her knuckles where if it wasn't already bruising because of Lonnie, it most certainly was now.

“Glimmer and I live here.”

That answer caught Catra off guard.

“Wait, You told me that this Mara chick took you in and now you're saying you live with our Principal? Now I'm even more confused.” Catra retorted before regretting even bringing up Mara because of the look that crossed Adora's face.

She had hit a nerve and she hadn't even been meaning to.

_Mara better not have hurt her._ Catra thought as she moved over to her former best friend—falling into old patterns as she put a hand on hers.

“Did she...Do something to you?” Catra questioned, earning a sigh as Adora wrapped her arms around herself, leaning against Catra's side subconsciously.

“She's not like Shadow Weaver, I know that's what you're thinking. It's just...She's sick and it seems to be getting worse ever since I moved in and I can't help but wonder if Shadow Weaver had been right all along...That my actions basically set things into motion...Good or bad.” Adora answered, feeling Catra stiffen before an arm snaked its way around her.

“Shadow Weaver was full of bullshit. You said it yourself Adora, Mara's **sick** and there is no way that _**you**_ would go out of your way to make something like that worse.” Catra said before sighing as a realization came upon her.

“I always thought you got away scot-free whenever we'd get into trouble together...But she used _me_ to get to you didn't she? I mean, I know you knew about her hitting me...Hell, you were the only one she _didn't_ hit and I always wondered why...Now I know and I want to kill her.”

Catra said as she pulled away, brow furrowing as she glanced around before adding “Come on since neither of us can sleep let's go for a walk...For old time's sake.”

Adora seemed caught off-guard by this but managed to smile slightly before adding “Fine but if I end up in trouble because of you I am going to kick your ass.” she retorted earning a smirk.

“If you can catch me that is.”

Adora hadn't expected to be practically tackled onto the ground as she tried to find Catra in the dark sea of trees, nor did she expect to hear the all too familiar laugh as Catra totally lost it while making fun of whatever facial expression that had painted itself across Adora's face in shock.

Especially since Catra hadn't honestly laughed like that since they had became reacquainted with each other. Not even the previous day at the carnival did she seem so carefree...But maybe Adora was just thinking too much into it.

Or maybe Catra just really trusted her.

“What's wrong Adora? Did you lose your edge? I remember when you use to even kick Lonnie's ass at wrestling.” the brunette jeered, smirking only to end up knocked back a second later.

“Oh shut up, you just startled me! Besides, it's been a while since I've done anything like this outside of martial arts classes!” Adora retorted, earning another burst of laughter.

“Oh wow...you really did go soft on me didn't you?”

Adora rolled her eyes before standing.

“No, I grew up! I don't have time for roughhousing and...Oh my god, what's that!”

Adora began, smirking as Catra turned to look in the way that she was pointing—the exact opening she needed for what she was going to do next.

  
Catra found herself landing on her back with an oof, glaring up at the rather arrogant looking blonde that was towering over her.

“When are you going to stop falling for that? I mean I know you're afraid of the dark but there's no such thing as the ghosts that Shadow Weaver would threaten you with...There's only _her_ and she's not here.” Adora teased through her laughter as she held a hand out to help the other girl up.

“Oh, I don't know...When are you going to stop collecting glittery things like some kind of pansy?” Catra retorted as she accepted the hand up before adding softly “besides even the dark is less freaky when I'm not by myself.”

She hadn't meant to say that aloud but with the familiar safety net that was Adora, Catra slowly began to feel her walls breaking down and for the first time in a long time, she didn't really mind.

Much.

“Hey, why don't you stay the night with me? I swear it is not as bad as you describe it and my room is _not_ pink...before you even start with that joke again.” Adora said after a few minutes of an awkward silence, earning a surprised look from the other girl.

“You sure? I mean it wasn't even a three weeks ago that we were bickering like territorial cats.” Catra responded, earning a shrug.

“Your call, _I_ wasn't the one who was being stubborn! Cyra.” Adora retorted, feeling Catra bristle slightly before being pulled into a headlock.

“Call me that again and I swear I'll tell your friends about the time you nearly burned down the kitchen making a microwave meal!” Catra said, barely dodging a blow to the side as Adora broke her hold.

“You do and I'll just tell the whole school about your rainbow leopard plushie and I think I still have that picture somewhere of you sleeping with it!” Adora retorted, earning a glare as Catra took a halfhearted swing at her.

“You wouldn't dare.”

“Try me.”

This form of roughhousing went on for a few more minutes until both of them collapsed onto the ground out of breath.

“You know what, staying at your place doesn't sound like a bad idea after _that._ At least I know you haven't turned to a complete marshmallow after you left.” Catra commented, closing her eyes briefly as she let her mind go back to the past one final time that night, comparing the feeling of normality returning—although this time without the fear of being hurt around every action.


	16. Chapter 16

“I thought you said no pink because those blankets and curtains look pretty Pink to me, princess.” Catra teased as soon as she walked into the room only to earn a pillow to the face by Adora.

“It's magenta, dummy. Don't you know the difference?” Adora retorted, earning a snicker.

“Still a shade of pink, _princess._ ” 

“Stop calling me that!” 

Catra couldn't help it, Adora was just so easy for her to rile up and there was no real hostility between them now—which was a relief that Catra hadn't expected at all. She had expected the other girl to have changed, to have become like all those stereotypical preppy girls or something but Catra couldn't even say that about  _any_ of the people that Adora hung out with.

Although the blue-haired senior with the sharp tongue she wasn't sure  _how_ she felt about.

“You realize that you're going to have to lend me something to wear tomorrow right and you're a lot more muscular than I am,” Catra said as she took a seat on the bed, letting out a surprised sound when she found herself sinking down onto it.

“Uh...Adora, are you sure this is a bed or a giant marshmallow?” She asked, earning a laugh.

“some kind of foam. Don't ask, just do me a favor and don't fall asleep directly in the middle, I am not going to have to try to push you over to one side.” 

Catra found herself playing the dumbest games she thought she had ever heard of as Glimmer joined them in Adora's room although she found herself enjoying herself—despite the embarrassing fact that Adora had told the short girl about the horse incident. 

_So this is basically a slumber party type thing? I never understood the point of these things but still..._

Adora fell asleep rather quickly, however, Catra—despite how tired she was—couldn't seem to get sleep to come. It wasn't because she was uncomfortable, no she had slept in the same bed as Adora before but this time  _something_ seemed off. 

Different.

_What the hell is going on with me?_ She wondered as she closed her eyes and tried to will herself to pass out but she couldn't help but notice how Adora had put an arm around her in their sleep—something that wasn't unusual when they were children—but now Catra couldn't help but notice how  _soft_ the blonde was despite how muscle lingered beneath the skin.

_Since when did she get so muscular or so soft? I never noticed either of this in the changing room._ She thought as she lay there, glancing over at her friend's sleeping face, which seemed much more peaceful here than it had been in the group home.

_Well, whatever awkwardness is between her and Angela it doesn't seem to be on a Beatrix level of anything._ She noted, allowing some of the worry for her friend to drift away as she closed her eyes again, subconsciously cuddling a bit closer to Adora as she tried to settle for the night. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not everything is as it appears with Adora.

* * *

“Did you really have to take my jacket? I mean...Seriously. It's not even cold in any of your classes! I almost froze in Trigonometry!” Adora complained in the gym the next day although Catra just let out a laugh and stuffed her hands in the pockets of the red jacket.

“So? I thought you said that you could handle anything there miss tough act.” Catra retorted, smirking slightly as she bumped against Adora lightly as they walked around the room.

“Oh, you're the fine one to talk. You're the one who acted like you were dying because you fell out of bed last night.” Adora retorted, chuckling lightly at the sour look that the other girl sent toward her.

“I was _kicked_ off the bed thank you very much. I swear sleeping with you is like sleeping with a drunken octopus. I think you bruised my collar bone by clothes lining me. Since when did you start moving around that much in your sleep?” Catra corrected although when she saw the blonde's expression darken slightly she chose to lightly nudge her. 

“Then again...you _did_ wake me up at some point to tell me to move...that my-what did you call it? Floof? Was in your face? I guess whoever we end up marrying or whatever will have hell to pay huh?” Catra said hoping to keep Adora from thinking about _whatever_ it was that she had remembered. 

“Hey, your hair goes _everywhere_ when you sleep. I mean seriously if it wasn't so soft you would literally be a human porcupine.” Adora retorted, earning a snort from the tan girl. 

“A what? Are you sure I didn't hit you a little too hard with that ball the other day, Adora?” Catra laughed, reaching over and forcing the blonde to look at her—only to get pushed away.

“Can you stop? I swear you are so annoying sometimes.”

Catra just smirked and shook her head.

“Nope, sorry. I only come in one size so you get what you get _princess._ ” she retorted, further irritating the blonde.

“If I were you, I think I would run.”

“So you two ready for tomorrow's game?” Bow asked at practice that evening, taking notice that Catra still was wearing Adora's jacket—although this time tied around her waist—and that Adora seemed to have gotten revenge by stealing the odd-looking headband that Catra usually used to keep her bangs out of her face.

“Yeah. I mean with Catra being as fast as ever and with the rest of the team is basically top notch there's no way we can lose!” Adora stated, earning a scoff from Catra.

“Stop selling yourself short Adora, you know as well as I do that _**you're**_ the star player and if anyone else is nearly as good, they are just your sidekick.” she retorted, earning an eye roll from both Adora and Bow.

“Catra, stop being so salty about that. That was four years ago, get over it.” Adora grumbled, understanding the reference that Catra had just made and _not_ wanting to remember _that_ whole scenario any time soon, especially since she and Catra had just recently started to mend their friendship. 

Catra arched a brow at her and crossed her arms across her chest.

“What's wrong Blondie? Did I hit a nerve? Maybe I will get over it when I finally kick your ass at something...and if PE has been _**any**_ indicator, I am closer to _that_ than anyone realizes.” Catra said although her tone was light—even if it was full of an almost harsh mischief.

“Catra, stop being an ass. We were twelve and I just _let_ a lot of shit happen...I get that.” Adora said before heading toward the field, leaving a wide-eyed Catra standing there trying to figure out just what the heck had happened.

“What the frilly hell? I was teasing.” She grumbled, facepalming before exhaling loudly “Bow, tell coach Adora and I will be a few minutes late. I think—as much as I hate to admit it—I need to apologize to our air-headed jock.”

_ Jeez...Why does something like that suddenly strike a nerve for her? I mean we used to joke around about all kinds of stuff as kids and it  **never** bothered her.  _ Catra wondered as she went over to the blonde and grabbed her arm.

“Catra, what the....Where are we going?” Adora yelped although the tan skinned girl just remained silent until they were in the locker rooms.

“What is going on with you? You've been slightly out of it all day and even though you were fine last night I swear you woke me up multiple times either muttering or thrashing around. Sure I tease you about all kinds of shit but whatever that was back there...When I was _trying_ to joke around...This isn't _you_ Adora and I know it's not really any of my business but I just want you to understand that you _can_ talk to me about whatever is bothering you because trust me, if anyone will understand it's me.” 

Catra demanded, her voice softening a bit toward the end. 

She knew that she was not good at this kind of thing and that most of the time she just ended up making things worse she really hoped that this time—with Adora—she wouldn't end up burying herself deeper into whatever hole that she had dug herself into.

“You noticed that huh?” Adora asked, sinking down onto one of the benches and burying her face into her hands. She really didn't want to talk about this _but_ she also knew that Catra wouldn't stop pestering her until she actually opened up—unlike Glimmer or Bow who let her set her own pace—although she supposed sometimes Catra's method probably worked better. 

“Kinda hard not to and then you got defensive over a _joke_ and I knew there had to be something wrong.” Catra answered as she took a seat beside the blonde. 

“It's just....I feel pressured to be _whatever_ everyone wants and Angela is _ **nothing**_ like Beatrix but I can't help but worry that if anything happens to Mara that it'll be basically a repeat of history. I mean, Angela has this _idea_ of who I am supposed to be, just like Weaver did and I let my desire to impress Beatrix—to get _any_ positive feedback rule and come between me and _everyone_ before and I am terrified that I'll end up making the same mistakes again.” Adora said and although she didn't explicitly say it Catra heard the hidden meaning behind those words.

_ I let Beatrix's opinions come between us. _

“I know I just met her informally last night but I really _doubt_ Angela is like that. I mean...She puts up with Glimmer's crazy antics half the time...Which makes me wonder why she's not gray already.” Catra tried to assure, earning a sound that she _supposed_ you could call a groan.

“Yeah but that's her daughter, not some kind of street rat from the wrong end of the tracks. To be honest, I don't think she likes me very much to begin with.” Adora responded and Catra felt the urge to march back inside and demand to talk to Angela about this whole thing.

But she wouldn't just because she knew that Adora would kill her—or that she could make it worse—and neither of those things sounded appealing.

“Adora, don't worry about all of that. If worse goes to worse then you can _always_ come stay with us until we figure something out. Scorpia won't mind and you can have my bed. Like seriously, we can figure something out...so screw what anyone thinks okay?” 

Catra wasn't expecting the blonde to hug her but she did and despite being caught off-guard, Catra felt a jolt of determination run through her because  _ this  _ time she wasn't the one who needed saving and she probably was one of the only people who knew every one of Adora's insecurities and that for the first time in their lives Adora  _**needed** _ her. 

And Catra wasn't about to let someone slip through the cracks if she could help it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay, writer's block has been a bitch and I had no idea how I was going to introduce one of Adora's main issues in this story after all Beatrix's mental abuse affected her too. Things will make a bit more sense in the next chapter when it becomes clear what's wrong with Mara.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes friends can be too protective.

“okay what is going on with this Mara person because I am tired of seeing Adora mope around all day and _fake_ happy around you two.” Catra said the next day at lunch while Adora went off with a blue-haired senior that Catra didn't care about enough to remember her name.

“Wait, she told you about Mara?” Glimmer asked, brows shooting up at that although Catra just shrugged.

“yeah, what of it? I mean she was worried senseless the other night which was why I ended up sleeping over at your place.” Catra responded, sending a sideways glance toward her usual table before sighing and taking a seat. 

“Look, whatever is going on with Mara is effecting Adora and I have _never_ seen her act like this.” she added remembering the conversation in the locker rooms the previous day and how Adora had been acting a bit strange since—but she understood that—after all, showing emotion was showing weakness and letting someone else have power over you and old habits die hard.

Catra knew that all too well.

“Mara's been sick a long time and she's had a really bad relapse and I guess that Adora's just been worrying about her.” Bow answered, earning a look from Glimmer.

“If she was that worried she would have told us!” Glimmer stated, not noticing how Catra rolled her eyes at the exclamation.

“Simmer down Shimmer. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have told me either if I didn't pry it out of her.” Catra said before turning her full attention back to Bow and adding “Can you at least tell me what's _wrong_ with Mara? I just want to know _what_ Adora's dealing with.” 

Both of the other teens grew quiet and shared a look—much to Catra's annoyance—but after a few minutes, Bow spoke again. 

“Mara is a veteran who served two tours in the army and she has severe PTSD. She was doing really well there for a while on the meds they put her on but they slowly stopped working and...”

Bow's voice trailed off as if he was unsure if he should continue. 

“She got worse again after Adora moved in?” Catra guessed, earning a glare from Glimmer.

“She was getting worse **before** then! Don't you start making Adora believe that...” 

Catra couldn't keep from scoffing at the shorter girl as she stood up, turning her full attention to her.

“I don't have to make Adora believe anything...She _already_ does and frankly, I _know_ it's bullshit which is why I asked you what was wrong, to begin with. Maybe you don't know Adora as well as you think you do, Glamour.”

With that Catra stalked off, leaving Glimmer sitting there practically steaming with anger while Bow resisted the urge to facepalm at the whole conversation between the two girls. 

“Maybe you can cool it a bit? I mean she _was_ being nice...Well nice for Catra anyway and she was really concerned about Adora yesterday. She _isn't_ a terrible person just...Shall we say rough around the edges?” Bow suggested, earning a glare from his childhood best friend.

“I still think she's up to something Bow! I mean she went from being a jerk to whatever the hell this is...I don't trust her! I mean who knows if this is just some ploy to end up hurting Adora!” Glimmer pointed out, earning a look.

“You know who she reminds me of?” Bow said after a while, earning a huff.

“Who?”

Bow smirked slightly as he saw the look he was getting from Glimmer.

“A certain eight eight year old who was temperamental and depressed after her father died. The girl who _really_ had a hard time making friends. Seriously, Glimmer...From what Adora told us about living with that Beatrix person, Catra and her didn't have ideal childhoods and that sort of thing damages people. Remember how Adora got all worried when she learned I was adopted? Who knows _what_ happened. I think we should at least give her a chance. She probably just as a hard time putting her thoughts and feelings into words.”

The rest of the day passed by in a rush of color and soon enough Catra found herself standing on the field, watching as Adora passed the ball—taking note that the blonde's form was sloppy at best. 

“Come on Adora! You got this!” Catra called, not really bothered by the fact that she was sitting out the first half of the game, especially since her mind was too preoccupied with the blonde to really care about anything else. 

“Catra, after halftime I need you to replace Kyle because if we don't do _something_ we're going to lose this game.” Their coach said, earning a smirk from Catra who shot Lonnie a look that clearly said ' _take that'_ before she answered.

“Sure thing. How long till halftime anyway?” 

“about another five minutes.” 

Nodding Catra turned her attention back toward the pitch, eyes training on Adora and sighing a bit when she saw how distracted that Adora still was.  _ I swear the first person that blames her if we lose, I am going to punch the ever living horse shit out of them. _ She thought, her knuckles throbbing slightly as she thought about punching anything else that week. 

Angela was still working in her office when Glimmer burst through the door, out of breath and looking slightly pale. 

“Mom, we need you outside stat....Adora's hurt.” 


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Protective Catra is annoying and Adora thinks Glimmer and Bow need to stop reading so many teen magazines.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I was supposed to update this yesterday but the migraine from hell hit me and I spent like 95% of the day sleeping in the darkest places I could find.

* * *

“Catra, just chill out. Adora will be fine. They're just doing a scan to make sure that nothing was torn.” Glimmer stated as she watched Catra pace across the room, ignoring the pain that the scrapes along her legs obviously caused.

“Yeah but what if she is allergic to the contrast or something? If something happens it'll be my fault and...”

Scorpia's hand on Catra's shoulder stopped her mid-sentence.

“Catra, stop. We're in one of the best hospitals in the area and it is _not_ your fault! You two play sports and that in and of itself has risks. Stop trying to blame yourself because you fell into her.” Scorpia pointed out, hoping to sooth whatever kinds of fears that Catra was having—although she knew from experience that once Catra got an idea into her head, that not much of anything could change her mind.

“It was my fault and you know it! If I couldn't afford to buy a pair of better cleats, to begin with...I wouldn't have slid and none of this would have happened!” Catra argued, her expression clouding over with a emotion that even Scorpia couldn't read before she turned and walked out of the room.

“Okay...So _that_ happened.” Scorpia commented shaking her head as she turned her attention back toward Glimmer and Angela before adding “What exactly are they checking Adora for? I barely got any answers out of Catra.” 

“She has severe bruising so they are making sure there are no ACL injuries. The only thing they are sure of is a sprained ankle....But can any of you explain to me what in the universe _that_ was about?” Angela answered, motioning toward the door where Catra had disappeared. 

“Okay, so Catra slipped while trying to tackle some guy on the other team and wiped out into Adora.” Glimmer summarized just as the doctor came in.

* * *

“You know it is just a sprain right?” Adora complained as Catra insisted on carrying her bag for her, leaving her to struggle with the crutches she was using.

“Yeah and I also know that you're being a stubborn pain in the ass and if my cleats weren't so cheap I wouldn't have slid into you when I tried to tackle the ball away from that one dude.” Catra answered, trying to sound nonchalant about the whole thing although just thinking about it made a tinge of guilt settle into the pit of her stomach.

“Cat, it's _soccer._ People get hurt in contact sports all the time. Stop beating yourself up over an accident.” Adora said, sharing a look with Bow as Catra stalked on ahead—obviously not wanting to hear the blonde's argument. 

“Man, has she always been like this?” Bow whispered to Adora who sighed and nodded.

“unfortunately.”

“You're going to end up getting detention again. I swear I'm fine carrying my own stuff.” Adora said, turning toward Catra who just shrugged.

“That's future Catra's problem. Besides, I can always just tell them _you_ needed my help and I'd be off the hook. Everyone loves you.” Catra retorted, smirking as she followed Adora into a classroom, dropping Adora's bag unceremoniously down unto a desk. 

Adora rolled her eyes at that but didn't farther argue with the other girl, who was giving her that damn cocky, crooked grin that had always annoyed the hell out of her—especially since it usually meant that Catra was going to land both of them into trouble in one form or another.

“Just go to class before you get us both in trouble...as usual.” Adora retorted although she wasn't able to keep from smiling when Catra let out a scoff.

“Oh, so I'm the bad influence here? Who was it that convinced me to help them shred the bottom of Beatrix's favorite dress that time?” Catra retorted, earning a look.

“Well, _I_ never got caught.” Adora retorted smiling as she added, “Now get going or you will be late and I don't want you to end up whining about getting in trouble later.” 

“Okay okay, I'm going, jeez. What are you? My mom?” Catra retorted with a laugh before heading toward the door, pausing only to call over her shoulder. “See you after class Adora!”

“Okay is it just me or is little miss punk rock starting to be a tad bit...Oh, I don't know...Clingy?” Glimmer said later that day while she and Adora sat on the bleachers, earning a look from Adora who

“What do you mean?”

Glimmer rolled her eyes at that and glanced around to make sure that Catra was still playing basketball and not within earshot.

“I mean When you got hurt she literally wouldn't leave the hospital until she was sure that you were alright. Then she kept calling and hanging around the house until I practically had to force her to leave because she _refused_ to spend the night. Now she's walking you to every class and insisting on basically being your pack mule. There is something going on there.” Glimmer explained although Adora just waved her off.

“She just feels guilty over something that she _**shouldn't**_ **.** You've read to many of those cheesy teen magazines, Glimmer.” Adora retorted, earning a snicker.

“whatever you say Adora but Bow has noticed it too.” 

Adora rolled her eyes at that before pinching the bridge of her nose, hoping that she wouldn't end up with a headache from whatever kind of emotional ambush this was.

“You both need to stop reading those stupid magazines then. Seriously you are making a big deal out of nothing. Catra's always been like this...Loyal to a fault.” she retorted.

“Loyal to a fault? Does that Loyalty include those looks you two have been sending each other lately? Or did you forget about the fact that we _both_ caught you staring in the locker room?” 

Glimmer tried not to laugh at the alarmed look that came across Adora's face—or how red her cheeks were getting—at the concept.

“What looks? I have not looked at her in any way! I was just surprised that she has as much muscle as she does! I mean the girl looks like she would be scrawny as hell!” Adora exclaimed and that was when Glimmer lost the fight with keeping her laughter at bay.

“Both of you are dense as hell, you know that?” 

“Shut up Glimmer!” 


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Entrapta asks Catra a personal question and something happens with Adora.

“So are you three going to the dance next weekend?” Bow asked at Soccer practice that day, earning a look from Catra that clearly said _are you kidding me?_

“I don't know...I mean I don't do very well with dancing or anything like that in general.” Scorpia answered honestly, earning a groan from Catra who lightly nudge her.

“You would love the chance to dress up and show off...So why don't you? I mean _honestly_ who cares what a bunch of egotistical idiots say? Why don't you and Entrapta go together?” Catra said pointedly, earning a ghost of a smile that didn't quite reach the taller girl's eyes.

“Entrapta doesn't exactly like those kinds of things and I'm not going by myself.” Scorpia said.

“Why don't you get one of your friends to go with you? I mean it _doesn't_ have to be a date. Friends go to things like that together all the time just because they feel weird about going alone.” Bow suggested as they waited on other players to get onto the field. 

“What about you Adora? You going to the dance?” he added toward the blonde who just shook her head.

“Not my thing. To be honest I'd only consider going if someone I like asks me.” Adora answered before adding “besides, there is no way I can pull off a fancy dress.” 

Catra couldn't keep from rolling her eyes when she heard those words coming from Adora. 

“Oh please, you could pull off _anything.”_ She said before walking off toward the field, leaving the others sitting there dumbfounded.

“Did she just...?” Bow began, earning a chuckle from Scorpia

“I think so.” 

* * *

“Catra!” 

Catra yelped, jolting in surprise at the sudden voice and hitting her head on her locker in the process. 

“Ow! What now Entrapta? Why are you out here anyway, don't you have that computer club thing?” She asked, rubbing at the back of her head as she turned toward the other girl who shrugged. 

“I got a rather interesting text from Scorpia but I couldn't believe everything that she said so I came to ask _you_.” she stated, earning a look from Catra who obviously wanted to do nothing more than get in the shower and getting out of her sweaty practice clothes.

“Okay, hurry up.” Catra said with a sigh, leaning back against the lockers and crossing her arms across her chest. 

_What on earth did Scorpia say **now?** Can everyone just stop playing guessing games against my personal life?_ She wondered as she waited on Entrapta to figure out how she wanted to ask whatever this was that she had asked. 

“Well...” Entrapta began slowly, unsure as to how Catra would react to this most recent rumor and not wanting to say something that would set the brunette off “Scorpia thinks that you may be...attracted to Adora.” 

She watched as Catra's eyes widened then quickly narrowed before she closed the distance between them, lightly pushing Entrapta toward the door. 

“Okay, I am not having this conversation with you, Scorpia or anyone else! Out! And you can tell Scorpia I'm going to kill her when I get my hands on her!” Catra stated as she pushed the other girl out before shutting the door and leaning against it.

“great...that is the _last_ thing I need circulating around the school. Jeez...Is everyone I know this damn nosy?” she muttered, rubbing a hand across her face before heading toward the showers, deciding that she could deal with _that_ particular thing later. 

_ Even if I  **did** happen to like her like that, there is no way in hell that she would like someone like me. I mean, yeah, we work as friends but we're from  **two** different worlds. There is no way that Adora would want to be with someone who has nothing to offer. _

By the time that Catra was done with her shower Adora, Bow and Glimmer had cleared out—leaving only Entrapta and Scorpia sitting there.

“Before you think that we scared Adora off, Angela came and got her and Glimmer and from the look on Angela's face, something's wrong.” Scorpia said holding up both hands as if to defend herself if Catra decided to throw something at her.

Catra didn't however but it didn't go unnoticed by either of her friends how her face clouded over with worry before she quickly schooled her features once again. 

“Let's just go. I'll call Adora or something later to see if everything's alright.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slow burn is slow but I promise there will be some subtle (or not so subtle...they're just dense as hell) flirting/obviously 'not friend stuff' that happens in the next few chapters leading up to when one or the other (no spoilers) finally gets a grip.


	21. Chapter 21

Scoripa had never seen Catra act like this, how she was checking her texts every few minutes to see if there was any response from either Bow or Adora and exhaling loudly when there was none. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Catra had some idea of what was going on, although whatever that was she wasn't sharing.

“Why don't you just walk over to her house? I mean you already spent like four days over there.” Entrapta suggested after a few minutes of watching the repetitive actions of her friend—who was also getting on her last nerves with snapping the flip phone shut every time there wasn't any answer—and ignoring the look that she got in response to that.

“I would but I don't even _know_ if they're home. I mean they very well could have had to go to a hospital or something!” Catra snapped before deflating and sighing “Sorry, I guess I _am_ a bit worried about her. I mean it seems like the universe has shit on both of us and even if she is better put together than me...I've _**seen**_ how everything has affected her and I can't help but worry that it won't take much to push her into a dark pit.”

Everyone in the room could hear the unspoken words _Like I did_ hanging in the air.

“Come on, I'll drive you over there. That way you can get _some_ answers.” Scorpia said after a few minutes of silence, brow furrowing as the meaning of the other girl's words dawned on her.

“Thanks, Scorpia, I owe you.”

Angela wasn't sure exactly how to help Adora or even if she could—well without getting hit in the face by a punching bag flying off its hanger anyway. But she tried not to take the standoffish, snappy mood personally because she remembered all too well what it felt like to be in Adora's shoes at that moment and even if the blonde shouldn't have been on her feet at that moment, Angela knew that trying to stop her would just lead to either an argument or a more destructive way to cope.

“Well, at least she isn't beating the living crap out of something.” Glimmer said as she came downstairs before sinking down onto the couch beside her mother “Do you think that Mara will make it?” she asked in a hushed voice, earning a sigh from Angela.

“I don't know...but for Adora's sake I really hope so. The poor girl has been through so much in her life and I can't even begin to imagine how this whole thing is making her feel.” Angela answered honestly, knowing that she couldn't lessen the severity of the whole scenario for any of them involved because—despite how painful it was—they deserved the truth.

“I know. I mean I only know what she has told me about how she lived before but Catra said something the other day that kind of caught me off-guard...She said that Adora thinks that she caused Mara to get worse.” Glimmer said in a low voice, eyes darting toward the stairs as if to make sure that Adora wasn't anywhere close by to overhear them.

“Glimmer...Whatever happens with Mara, Adora's going to need all the support she can get. She's a strong person but even the strongest people break when things get too much. I know she won't let _me_ try to help her for whatever kind of reasons but maybe she will trust you and the rest of her friends.” Angela said after a while, closing her eyes as she tried not to think about the fact that she was practically putting a lot of pressure on her daughter at this point.

But what was she to do? Adora wouldn't open up to her in any sense of the word, although she also wasn't walking on eggshells around her at this point either.

“Don't worry, we'll do what we can for Adora. I remember how I felt when Dad...” Glimmer trailed off, glancing away as she tried _not_ to remember exactly how she had felt.

She felt her mother wrap an arm around her and although she tried to appear un-phased by the whole thing, she couldn't help but lean against her side.

Catra sighed as she managed to bypass the horse that was grazing by the fence that ran along the driveway—taking note as to how his ears pinned back upon seeing her.

“Yeah, I don't like you either,” Catra muttered as she passed by as she headed toward the front door, pausing only briefly to ring the doorbell.

It didn't surprise her when it was Glimmer who answered.

“Scorpia told me about you guys leaving in a hurry. How's Adora?” Catra asked, earning a sigh.

“It's Mara and...Adora isn't doing too well. She's locked herself in her room and...well...She _was_ beating the ever loving crap out of a punching bag earlier but now it's just quiet and well...” Glimmer trailed off as she moved to let Catra inside.

“Shit. Looks like she took our _training_ to heart just as much as I did.” Catra stated, her brow creasing as she tried to process everything that she had just been told.

“Training?” Glimmer repeated, earning a sigh as Catra turned toward her.

“That's what Adora and I took to calling it anyway. Beatrix had this _thing_ against showing a lot of emotion...You know that whole 'stop crying or I'll give you something to really cry about' shit. Adora didn't have it as badly as I did...at least not on the physical level but being in that kind of environment fucks you up, no matter if you just _see_ it or not.” Catra explained, not even noticing that Angela was listening from just inside the living room.

“Wait so you're saying you were taught not to show any emotion at all?” Glimmer asked, obviously surprised by the whole thing.

Catra shrugged “Yeah, sort of. I mean you can't exactly cut emotions off like that.” Catra answered, closing her eyes as she let out a sigh as she remembered how hard she _tried_ to actually follow all of those directions as a child—she and Adora both did, she recalled.

“Then maybe you can help us at least get her to eat something.” Angela chose that moment to speak up, causing both of the girls to jump slightly in surprise although they both relaxed quickly.

“Sure, I can try. I just hope that I can do something.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra breaks into Adora's room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is a discussion of Suicide in this chapter (mostly involving the effects it leaves on those left behind) but still I thought I should put a warning there. it's vague but it's there.

“Why am I not surprised?” Glimmer muttered as she watched Catra pick the lock to Adora's bedroom, earning a grin from the tan-skinned girl.

“Grow up getting locked outside the house as punishment and you learn a little bit of everything.” Catra said just as the lock clicked slightly so she added: “If I'm not out in a half hour, you can assume she killed me for breaking into her space.”

Catra felt an odd feeling settle in the pit of her stomach when she saw that Adora was curled up asleep on the bed, her face still flushed and wet with tears. She carefully made her way over to the bed, taking a seat and gently putting a hand on Adora's shoulder.

“Hey Adora, wake up for a second okay?” She asked, her voice coming out soft—softer than she usually spoke—and if it had been at any other person it would have caught her by surprise but this was Adora and that was different, after all, they had seen each other in far more embarrassing predicaments.

“Catra? What...How did you get in here?” Adora asked, voice hoarse from crying as she moved to sit up. 

Catra sent her a Cheshire grin as she replied: “I kind of picked the lock.” 

If Adora was annoyed by this, she didn't show it because instead of really reacting to what Catra had said, she drew her knees up to her chest. “I should have known.” She eventually said, as if just registering what the other girl had been saying.

“Hey, you know that you can talk to me about anything right? It's not exactly healthy to keep everyone blocked out and you're going to end up hurting yourself worse if you keep taking everything out on your punching bag. That ankle needs rest, you know.” Catra said, putting a hand on the blonde's forearm. 

“What is there to say? That hospital was obviously shit and there is a very slim chance of Mara coming out of this without permanent damage! I mean how did they not notice that she was hiding medication?” Adora began only to choke back tears once again. 

Catra wasn't sure what to say or do at that moment although she felt a heaviness in her chest as she watched the usually strong blonde breaking down. Without even thinking about it Catra found herself pulling Adora into an embrace.

“Don't. You don't have to put on a mask around me. We've been through a lot of shit together...You can just be Adora with me...even if you're still iffy about showing emotion to anyone else. But right now it's just us.” she whispered, feeling Adora clinging to her. 

There was a silence that passed over them, weighing heavily on Catra who knew she wasn't very good with this sort of thing, although at that moment she  _wished_ she was because seeing Adora like this was killing her. 

“I don't know what to do. I mean everyone says there is nothing I could have done differently but...I can't help but feel like there _is_. I could have visited her more, called, or something!” Adora finally said after a while, earning a sigh.

“Adora, I didn't know Mara or anything _but_ I know that mental health is one hell of a something. She saw all kinds of horrors and lost who knows how many friends during her stays overseas. We don't know what kind of hell she was living every day so don't blame yourself for all of that...Blame the fact that mankind is idiots who have to fight about everything.” Catra said, knowing that the words weren't much but they were true enough.

“I couldn't even bring myself to read the last letter she sent me for days Catra! I mean...She just kept getting worse and I just couldn't...” Adora began to argue, only to be cut off by her friend once again.

“Yeah because it fucking hurts watching someone you love losing a fight with _any_ kind of health issue and just because she chose _this_ doesn't mean she didn't care about you. Did she _ever_ say or do anything that made you think differently?” 

As she waited on the other girl to answer, Catra thought back to the words that she had just said and for the first time she realized exactly what it was that she was saying and she couldn't help but wonder when it had been that she had become so opened or when she had learned to speak so clearly about matters that dealt with the emotions.

But she didn't dare think too long or hard on that subject, not when Adora obviously needed her to be present both mentally and physically at the moment. 

Glimmer couldn't help but to become worried after a half hour passed and neither Catra nor Adora came downstairs, after all, could they really trust Catra, who had been nothing but a huge jerk for the first few weeks of school? What if she made Adora feel even worse? 

So she headed upstairs but no matter what she was expecting to find, it wasn't to find Adora laying partially against Catra, asleep. 

“one word about this to anyone and you're dead,” Catra muttered, opening one eye although otherwise, she didn't move. 

“No one would believe me anyway,” Glimmer retorted before adding “I came up to see if everything was alright.” 

Catra let out a sigh, glancing over at the still sleeping blonde.

“give me a few minutes to make sure I can move her without waking her up and I'll tell you everything.” 

Catra wasn't sure if she wanted to tell Glimmer  _anything_ but then again, Glimmer was one of Adora's close friends and that meant if Catra was going to spend any time around Adora, she was going to have to learn to at least tolerate the walking cupcake so as soon as she managed to slowly pull herself away from Adora she headed toward the living room.

_I just hope that I can figure out how to explain everything to them without making them worry. It's obvious that they are worried enough already and like it or not these people may as wells be Adora's family now._


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alliances are made and thoughts start to run wild. (also Adora may be depressed but she is still a dumbass)

“Okay, one of you are going to have to take Adora's crap to her today because I have work _and_ practice after school,” Catra said as she practically dropped her lunch tray onto the table where both Adora's group of friends and her own were seated. 

“I will. Are you coming by the house tonight? My mom wanted me to ask since she is making enough food to feed an army.” Glimmer replied, earning a hint of a smile.

“it depends on what time I manage to get out of the shop but I will try,” Catra answered as she poked at the mass that was _supposed_ to be meatloaf before adding with a scowl: “How was she this morning?” 

“Well...She actually left her room this morning and was actually eating this morning when I left for school which is more than we have gotten her to do for the last three days.” Glimmer answered, worry etching across her face as she thought about the implications of that.

“Yeah, I know that at the funeral Adora was a bit numb or something. I have _never_ seen that from her before.” Catra said softly, closing her eyes as she thought about everything that had happened in the past week. She couldn't get the thought out of her head about how the usually strong, spitfire girl she had grown up with had clung to her like a lifeline, obviously broken by this whole thing. 

Catra knew that neither of them had ever lost anyone important before—not like what had happened with Mara—but still, her heart broke at even the mere thought of the girl who had been her only friend for some time breaking completely down whenever they were in private. 

A heavy silence passed over them then, one that Glimmer finally broke. 

“I want to thank you by the way, for everything you did for Adora and I'm sorry I have been such a huge jerk about everything. I was afraid you would end up shattering Adora's heart but I guess I was wrong with that.” 

This caught Catra off-guard since Glimmer had always been untrusting of her, yet she was saying this.

“Don't get weird on me but to be honest, I know I caused her to fall and shit during soccer practice but I wouldn't go that far. I mean, before we actually sat and talked I wanted her to know how much she hurt me. But then I realized that we were both just dumb kids that had a lot of shit being held over us.” Catra responded, remembering a few times in those first few weeks where she had gone out of her way to be a jerk toward Adora.

And she felt her stomach clench painfully at the memory of that.

“Hey, you two are working it out and she forgives you so there's that.” Bow said as Catra sighed once again.

“Yeah, but who's to say that I won't end up hurting her in the long run? We're both pretty fucked up as you seen with Adora.” Catra's response caught everyone by surprise, including Scorpia who could usually read her like an open book.

“Yeah well you were hurting and you think more with your heart instead of your head and I think you have worked through _a lot_ of your past over the past few years. I mean at first you basically kept to yourself and was a manipulative, abusive jerk at times, but after moving in with me you slowly started to change. Giving you a place to live away from Beatrix was what helped you.” Scorpia said, putting a hand on Catra's. 

_Is it true? Have I changed that much? I mean I have become a bit...more emotional but what if that's all? What if I have not changed that much? What if Scorpia's just being...Well...Herself?_ Catra couldn't help but wonder, suddenly losing her appetite as she thought about what that would mean. 

Was she just using Adora? Was Adora just a crutch for her? She couldn't help but wonder during class the rest of that day, letting her mind wonder over the questions that bounced around inside her head as she idly took notes. 

Notes she knew that Adora would need if she was to catch up in the class.

_What exactly do I feel for Adora? Is it still that weird, clingy, whatever that I had when we were kids? When she was my only friend but if that's the case then why does it feel **right** when we're doing stuff together? I always felt safe around her but does she feel the same way? _

She couldn't help but wonder as she thought back to the night at the carnival and how relaxed she had been during all of that and even how much fun she had with Adora in the forest that night after her embarrassing run-in with Swift Wind. 

The way that she had noticed little things about the blonde that night that she had before.

How soft she was despite being well built from playing sports or the way that her eyes shone in the faint moonlight. 

Or how safe—how right—it felt when she had woken up to find herself wrapped in Adora's arms. She knew that this wasn't a thing that you notice when you were just friends with someone and she couldn't help but worry about what Adora would think if she found out about  _ that  _ particular thing. 

_ I can't tell her about this...She's been through so much shit that it would just overwhelm her and I don't want things to be weird or for her to think I am just hanging around expecting something in return. _ Catra thought, sighing as she glanced down at the notes she had been writing. 

_ What if that is what I have been doing all along? But even I'm not that cruel...Am I?  _

* * *

Adora hated being alone with her thoughts but she also knew that she didn't trust herself in a crowd just yet because even though everyone kept reminding her that Mara's death was  _ not  _ her fault—and deep down she knew it too—she couldn't stop that one part of her from wondering what if it was. 

What if Beatrix was right? What if every mistake she made caused a terrible outcome for someone else? What if her lack of visits or calls had attributed to Mara's untimely death? 

She wished that she could run, or do  _ anything  _ else but sit there but she knew that too much movement could cause irreversible damage to her ankle and riding was clearly out of the question—although she wasn't sure she even wanted to  _ look  _ at the horse right now. 

Especially since he had been a gift from Mara. 

Falling back onto her bed she closed her eyes, wishing that for once the tiredness would just consume her—after all there had to be a limit for how long one could stay awake with their thoughts after having difficulty sleeping at night or at least—in her case—when Catra wasn't curled up on the bed with her. 

_ How is it that just having her there seems to help me sleep? Was this what it was like for her whenever she was freaking out and we shared a bed? But is it normal that I have been noticing every little thing about her? When did she get so strong and when did she get so sweet? I mean she's always had a softer side to her but...it's like she's lost that edge that she usually has...yet it doesn't feel like pity _ .

Sighing she turned onto her side, staring out of her window at the overcast landscape that was Angela's garden.  _ Stop thinking so much about Catra, it's weird. _ She berated herself mentally as she tried in vain to keep her mind from wandering toward the other girl.  _ I must be going crazy because only a psychopath would think so much about someone. Maybe Angela and Glimmer are right, maybe I  **should** take a mini vacation with them this weekend. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone for the Kudos' and comments they have left on this story. I am glad that everyone seems to be enjoying the story so far!
> 
> This will probably be the last update before things get crazy for the holidays (maybe...I don't know.) so Happy Holidays everyone!


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra worries too much, Adora is not as smooth as she thinks she is, Catra isn't as clueless as Adora hopes and they're both disasters at this point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I know I said there wouldn't be any more updates until after Christmas BUT I needed something to distract me today (Holidays aren't that big of a deal to my family these days.) So I basically wrote two updates. 
> 
> Anyway Happy Holidays everyone!

* * *

“Do you think that I'm just helping her for some selfish reason?”

The question caught Scorpia off-guard because Catra  _never_ asked questions like that or at least she never asked Scorpia questions like that. 

“Why do you ask? But I don't see how you could be selfish about wanting to be there for someone who has just had the worse week in their life.” Scorpia answered carefully, moving to sit beside of the other girl who was currently staring out their kitchen window.

“Because that's all I did with you and Entrapta. I used _you_ for a place to stay and I only started talking to Entrapta because I needed that piece of shit of a computer worked on! I mean I know things have changed between us _now_ but that doesn't excuse what my first intentions were!” Catra confessed, not daring to look at the taller female who just squeezed her shoulder. 

“Hey, you think I didn't know that? But I _can_ tell you this much: I have _**never**_ seen you this protective toward someone. Even before Mara you always seemed to keep an eye on Adora.” Scorpia answered simply and for the first time Catra found herself lost for words.

_She knew? Yet she still tried..._

“You still tried to be friends with me even when you _**knew**_ what I was up to?” Catra questioned, wondering why anyone on the planet would be willing to try to befriend anyone who was just being a total ass? 

“Yeah, I mean...You scared most people off but I _know_ how hard it must have been for you, being alone like that. Being _hurt_ over literally nothing...having your best friend seemingly leave you like that.” Scorpia answered, her voice holding such a dejected tone that it caught Catra by surprise.

_She had similar shit happen to her before._

The voice in the back of Catra's mind seemed to remind her as she turned her full attention to the platinum blonde.

“I want to thank you for that. Most people would have given up on me but you didn't. You and Entrapta honestly are the only two that _wouldn't._ ” Catra found herself saying as Scorpia's words turned over and over in her head. 

Glimmer wasn't surprised at all when Catra showed up at her place that Friday, carrying a bag of day-old pastries from the shop that she worked at and covered with  _ something  _ that smelled like a mix of espresso and ruined pumpkin. 

“What happened to you?” Glimmer couldn't help but ask as Catra practically shoved the bag of food into her arms.

“Two words: Newbies are dumb-asses. Can I use your shower? I _would_ go home to do it _**but**_ I don't particularity feel like getting attacked by bees.” Catra replied, earning a chuckle.

“Sure, I think you left some clothes over anyway. I'll go get them for you. Adora had to go to the doctor this evening to see how well she was healing up. They should be back soon.” Glimmer said, earning a sigh.

“Hopefully she can come off those crutches. I am getting tired of listening to her bitching about them!” Catra stated before heading toward the bathroom, muttering under her breath all the while about idiots and ruined clothes.

Glimmer couldn't help but wonder how she had ended up becoming somewhat of a friend to one of the biggest jerks in the school—and that was saying something.

Catra wasn't sure how long that she had stayed in the shower just trying to get the gooey mess of caffeine and syrup out of her hair but she  _ didn't  _ think that it had been long enough for anyone else to get there, much less did she think that she could zone out in her own thoughts that she wouldn't hear people talking in the living room. But the biggest surprise was the fact that when she walked into the living room she was met with a stark blue gaze. 

One that lingered over her choice of outfit, which happened to be a tight-fitting Tank-top and a pair of ball shorts.

“Okay...Either I missed some gunk or Adora just broke” Catra joked as she finished toweling her hair dry, taking note of how Glimmer and Bow were whispering to each other and giggling like children as Adora's face flushed and she quickly looked away.

“What? No! Sorry! I just didn't know you were here!” Adora rushed to say, earning a chuckle from Catra who couldn't keep from smirking at her childhood friend.

“Sure Adora, whatever you say.” Catra retorted, tossing the towel at the flustered blonde before taking a seat on the far end of the couch beside Bow.

_Well, I had no idea that she could turn that shade of red. I wonder why she freaked out so bad? I mean she's seen me in less than this in the changing room_ .  _Unless....No, stop it Catra. You're projecting. There is no way for **that** to be the reason._ Catra mentally scolded herself as she swiped a croissant from the plate that set on the table in front of the sofa. 

“So what did the doctor say about ya?”

Glimmer knew that if she and Bow were caught by _either_ of the two girls that they would be dead but if they didn't notice something as obvious as this, then they never would. Not without help that was...Help that involved Scorpia and Entrapta.

So while Catra and Adora were distracted with some kind of game that Bow had brought, Glimmer decided to pull Scorpia and Entrapta into a group chat, after all this would take more heads than one to plan out without getting caught under normal circumstances and that went double when it came to dealing with people as stubborn as Adora and Catra.

_If these two are too stubborn or dense to actually talk about what's going on between them then we'll just have to force it._ Glimmer thought as she sent a text to Scorpia, wondering just _**how**_ that the plan they had tried to put together in the library would work—if at all.

“You sure you're okay with me sleeping over?” Catra couldn't help but ask later that night as she followed Adora upstairs, earning a look from the blonde that she wasn't sure the meaning of.

“We used to sleep together all the time as kids. Why would it be any different now?” Adora answered, earning a sigh from Catra who shrugged and answered

“Just making sure, I don't want to seem weird or something.”

The heavy silence that filled the room then didn't go unnoticed by Catra, who was sure that she had just made things even weirder than they already were but then Adora spoke, her voice really timid—more so than Catra had **ever** heard it before.

“I know this is going to seem really friggin' weird _but_ after you went home the dreams started again. I don't know what difference it makes but you're the only person I really trust to ask to stay. You know?”

The thing was Catra _did_ know.

“Yeah, I get it. Sort of.” she responded softly, reaching out to take her hand before adding softly “Don't be embarrassed by it okay? I meant it when I said I'd do anything I can for you.”


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glimmer and Scorpia both have to deal with reluctant dance dates. Plus, someone really needs to give Catra a damn hug already.

The next day proved as uneventful as the previous, minus the fact that Adora had caught herself watching Catra during practice more than usual, although Adora really wasn't sure _why_ that was. 

Or rather she really didn't want to think about it.

“Come on Adora! You haven't been out of the house in forever and even Mom is getting worried about you! It's just a dance and you _don't_ have to actually dance if you don't want to! Just come with me so I don't get stuck by myself!” Glimmer pleaded, earning a groan from Adora who had _just_ got home from watching the rest of the team practice—something that she had taken to doing since she had been hurt. 

“Ugh...Fine. If it'll get you to stop talking about it so much! But I am **not** wearing a frilly dress!” Adora said, just giving in to shut Glimmer—who had been irritating her all day—up. 

“Yes! Thank you! I promise you won't regret it! I'll go tell my Mom so she can take us all shopping later!”

Meanwhile, Catra sat behind the counter at the cafe where she worked, trying to drown out Entrapta's constant chatter by focusing on  _ anyone  _ else besides the purple haired girl. 

“Don't you have someone else to annoy? Like, I don't know, _any_ of your other friends?” Catra said after some time of just listening to the hyperactive girl go on and on about some kind of 'social study' she was looking forward to doing at the dance. 

Something that Catra honestly had never expected the other girl to even  _ want  _ to go to.

“Everyone else is out shopping for the dance! Well besides Scorpia, she's at work right now...and...Oh! Do you think that she would make those little...what are they called again? You know those cream filled things that I liked?” Entrapta's answer caused Catra to roll her eyes.

“You mean the Japanese ball cake things? Yeah, I'm sure she will. Now if you don't mind, _**I**_ am needed in the back.” Catra retorted although this was a lie, she really just needed a break from hearing about that damn dance. 

_ Jeez...looks like everyone in the damn school is going to be there but me and probably Adora. I may catch it lucky and get the house to myself for that evening!  _ She thought, trying hard not to sigh for what seemed to be the thousandth time that afternoon. 

Pulling her phone out of her jacket pocket, Catra decided that  _ maybe  _ it wouldn't kill her to actually  _ use  _ the online account thing that Scorpia had made for her ages ago—But she almost instantly regretted it when she saw the friend requests from not only Adora but three of her other friends as well. 

_ Okay, I don't even  **talk** to flower-girl and why the hell did Senior shit-head send me a friend request? I made it clear that he annoyed the hell out of me. _ She thought although she clicked accept on all of them anyway. 

That's when she  _ really  _ started to regret ever logging on to that thing because the first thing she saw was Adora's post that read: 

Shopping for a dress after I got suckered into the stupid dance by one of my best friends.

Followed by a picture of her and Glimmer, both wearing the most unflattering dresses that Catra had ever saw.

_What the hell? Are they...Wait...Are they dating? When did that happen?_

Catra couldn't describe the wave of emotion that washed over her as she switched her phone back off, her heart feeling as if it would explode under the sheer weight of the emotions that seemed to wash over her in that instant.

_ Who cares? I don't. _

A lie and she knew it.

But it wasn't like she would ever admit it.

Scorpia knew something was wrong when she walked into her living room only to hear the sound of blaring music coming from the TV. The music she knew all too well as the playlist that Catra would listen to when she was trying to deal with something she wanted to avoid feeling or thinking.

“Entrapta? What the heck is wrong with Catra now?” She couldn't help but ask the purple haired girl who was currently sitting on the couch, typing away at a laptop and eating caramel covered popcorn.

“I think she's Jealous...I mean I'm not sure about that but still...that's the only logical answer.” Entrapta replied just as Catra came into the room, glaring over at her.

“I am not jealous!” Catra snapped all too quickly, earning a raised eyebrow from Scorpia.

“Really now? Then why are you blushing?” the taller of the trio said, only to make Catra blush even more.

“Shut up Lynda!”

That response did nothing but make Scorpia snicker.

“Let me guess, this has something to do with a certain blonde going to the dance?” Scorpia retorted, knowing full well that this would be enough to get Catra talking.

“So what if it does? I don't understand why she would want to go to the dance with that walking tulip, to begin with? I mean...seriously...” Catra began to rant, although Scorpia and Entrapta were both too busy trying to keep from giggling to pay much attention to what she was saying.

“Yep, you're jealous,” Scorpia said after Catra was finally done ranting “Did you ever stop to think that maybe this isn't a _date_ date? I mean _friends_ can go together. Look at Bow and Perfuma.” 

As soon as she said that Catra seemed to lose all the fire that had been in her and just slumped down onto the recliner.

“because,” she began, fists clenching so tightly that her knuckles were starting to pale from the strain, “She _said so_ herself, remember? She said that she wouldn't go unless someone she _**liked**_ asked her.” Catra reminded them.

_ I know it's selfish for me to feel this way. I mean I knew I wasn't her type...I'm too much of a lowlife...I don't know how to do anything right, I have nothing to offer her. _

Her mind started to race, berating her for even entertaining the thought that the blonde would  _ ever  _ want anything to do with her but then Scorpia's voice broke her from her thoughts. 

“Well make her jealous then because I _**swear**_ she was sending heart eyes your way multiple times. Besides it is not good for you to stay here by yourself, especially not when you're in a mood like this.” 

Catra mulled it over for a few minutes, just staring at nothing as she thought about the pros and cons of that situation before she finally sighed.

“Fine...if it will get you to shut up about the damned dance.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra is stubborn and the dance doesn't go as Catra or Adora had planned.

Catra knew that she was being petty but she couldn't help but find any excuse she could to avoid interactions with either Adora or Glimmer because whenever she did she couldn't help but feel a familiar, green emotion swelling inside of her.

An emotion that Catra wished that she didn't have.

But soon enough Friday rolled around and it was time for the dance but unlike most of the students, she wasn't excited. At all.

But she would force herself to go, after all, she had promised Scorpia she would be her date that night—even if they weren't dating.

“Come on Kitty, let's try to have fun! Besides, you look great!” Scorpia said, trying to tie the bow tie that Catra had failed at tying—only to have her hands batted away.

“Leave it, it would just choke me anyway,” Catra stated before glancing over Scorpia, smirking slightly as she added “And who knew you could clean up that well. You're going to have all eyes on you tonight.”

She saw the color crawl into the slightly older girl's face as she took her arm.

“You're just trying to be nice. Come on.”

Adora tried to have fun that night although most of that was spent lounging around by the snack bar and not really dancing all that much, especially since a certain, infuriating brunette seemed to appear in her line of vision more often than not.

_Why has she been avoiding me for the last few days?_

The question that had repeated itself in her mind a million times over the last two days as she tried to connect the dots to figure out if she had offended the other girl or something but she couldn't figure out anything that she could have said or done anything that would have angered or hurt Catra in any way.

So why was she avoiding her?

She couldn't help but wonder after Glimmer had disappeared to talk to someone and left her alone with her thoughts but those thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a tap on the shoulder.

“Hey Adora, I see your date ditched you. Wanna dance?”

Adora was taken aback by the sudden change of attitude toward her but still accepted the hand that was offered to her.

“You know Catra, you really do give me whiplash,” Adora stated as she allowed her childhood best friend and sometimes rival lead her out onto the floor.

“Whatever do you mean?” Catra responded, looking confused but quickly adopted the familiar crooked smile which drove Adora crazy.

“Because you act normal then you've been annoying me and being a bit of an asshole for the past few days. I mean...I know you have your own life and all of that _but_ we're friends and if I trust you with my stuff I really wish that you would talk to me about what is bothering you.” Adora practically snapped, causing Catra to freeze mid-step and pull away.

“Oh, so you want me to be an honest _princess?_ How about you start by telling me how long you have been dating Sparkles? Or why you never told me you even liked anyone when you wanted me to open up about _everything._ Did you think I would embarrass you or something? That I would embarrass you in front of your girlfriend?”

Catra couldn't help it when her voice broke as she said this, although Adora couldn't help but laugh as she reached out and gently took Catra's hand into her own once again.

“You think me and Glimmer are dating? She practically blackmailed me to come with her because she didn't want me to be home alone tonight. Why would you care anyway? I mean if I do date someone it doesn't change anything between us.”

Catra pulled away then, not daring to make eye contact as she turned away.

“You're an idiot, you know that Adora?”

Catra had been ready to walk away however she couldn't seem to break the blonde's grip on her hand.

“What do you mean? Please talk to me Catra, we use to tell each other everything.” Adora pleaded, knowing that it had to be something for Catra to be acting like this.

“it's not important.”

Catra responded, earning a sigh.

“Cat, come on. How bad can it be?” Adora stated softly as she moved closer to the other girl, watching as the fight seemed to leave her body at those words.

“Don't you get it? I like you okay? I really freakin' like you and I know you probably don't feel the same way and I hope that this doesn't change anything.” Catra forced the words out of her mouth before bolting away, finding herself in the parking lot and leaning against the building and closing her eyes to fight the tears that burned against them as her mind raced with ever worse case scenarios that ran through her mind.

_I probably just lost one of my best friends because I couldn't control myself._

She thought, not even noticing that she had been followed until a hand lightly lay onto her shoulder and caused her to jump out of her skin.

“Catra, can we talk? Please? Because I have something I need to tell you and I'm starting to think that this was the whole point of us both being drug here by our idiot friends.” Adora questioned, catching Catra by surprise.

“Now you're the one not making any sense,” Catra said although she allowed Adora to lead her off to a more private area in the parking lot.

“I...I think I have liked you for a while but with everything that has been happening lately and stuff I just felt as though I was going crazy.” Adora admitted once she was sure no one would be eavesdropping on them although even saying those words made blood rush to her face.

“You _think?_ Haven't you dated anyone before? I mean you are popular as hell.” Catra snorted, earning a halfhearted glare.

“Shut up, I'm trying to tell you something and you just keep being sarcastic and I...” Adora exclaimed, only to be cut off mid-sentence as Catra pulled her closer, that devil may care grin returning to her face as she whispered

“Maybe you should _make_ me.”

Adora looked like a deer in the headlights there for a split second before timidly bringing her lips against the other girl's, the nervousness leaving her when she felt a hand gently pressing against her lower back.

As they pulled apart Catra was the first to speak, her face flushed and hands slightly shaky.

“want to go back inside? I think I still owe you that dance.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Catra blow off the dance.

Catra couldn't believe that she was actually dancing with the blonde that she had developed a crush on, the girl that had been her best friend and had never given up on her despite how big of an ass that she was being. 

“I knew you could dance but I _never_ thought you'd swallow your pride enough to ever do so in public,” Catra said after a while, snickering when Adora glared at her. 

“You're the one to talk! Your pride is the size of a whale!” Adora retorted before both of them burst into laughter, their foreheads touching as they drew together slightly. 

Neither of them knew how long that they had stayed like that, just enjoying having each other  _that_ close without the fear of worrying the other—or in Adora's case, feeling like she was going crazy. They stayed like that until the music drew to an end. 

“I think as annoyed I am by our combined group of idiots and their manipulative streaks, I think I am glad that I let Scorpia talk me into coming,” Catra said as she leads Adora toward a table—just out of sight of their friends. 

“I am too...I mean I knew that I had started liking you but I thought I was just going crazy after everything that had happened. I mean, I was—Am a mess.” Adora stated, earning a laugh from Catra who took her hand.

“I've had a crush on you for a while but I never thought _you_ would return the feeling and I was afraid that if I said or did anything it would scare you off...I mean I noticed you staring at me and all that _but_ I just figured it was just a weird friendship thing.” Catra said with amusement as she watched Adora's face flush slightly. 

“I doubt that _friends_ stare at each other half naked...Or when they're in really tight shirts that show off their curves and muscles,” Adora retorted, glancing down before adding “Since _when_ did you get so...Sturdy?” 

Catra couldn't help but laugh aloud again at that and shook her head.

“Gymnastics and soccer remember? Besides I need to do _something_ to keep the voices out of my brain,” she answered simply, although Adora noticed the sparkle in her eyes fade slightly as soon as the words came out of her mouth.

“Hey, let's not think about all of that right now...Let's just enjoy this night and each other, alright?” Adora suggested, squeezing the hand that was still holding hers and making a mental note to get Catra to open up about it later. 

“Yeah but since dances aren't really either of our things, why don't we blow out of here? I mean you look awesome in that dress _but_ I don't feel like dealing with our idiot squads _or_ having a bunch of idiots staring at us because the school sweetheart and the school outcast are dancing together.” Catra suggested, earning a nod.

“Alright, but where will we go?” 

“Just trust me and come on!”

Adora knew that this was probably a bad idea—as was most of Catra's plans if she could remember correctly—but it didn't stop the curiosity that built inside her. 

“Whoa, okay. Can I ask how you even knew that this place was up here?” Adora asked as she sat on the cliff's edge, overlooking the city—which appeared to be only a sea of lights below them. 

“Got locked out one night and decided to make the most of it and sleeping on the grass beats sleeping on a hard porch. Ended up coming up here whenever I needed to clear my head.” Catra answered, glancing down at their intertwined fingers. 

“This place is beautiful...and I think this is the only time I've seen the stars this brightly,” Adora said after a few minutes of silence as she turned toward Catra, taking note of how distant her gaze was. “What's wrong?”

Catra sighed and closed her eyes, letting go of Adora's hand before falling back onto the ground behind her. “Nothing important. Just a future Catra problem.” she answered, hearing a snicker from Adora.

“Come on Cyra, just tell me what's bothering you.” Adora said, earning a glare from Catra who folded her arms behind her head as she glanced up at the sky.

“What does all this mean? I mean, are we together or what? I mean...I've never had a _serious_ relationship before. I mean, sure I've dated a few times _but_ nothing worth mentioning. I was _such_ an ass.” Catra confessed with a groan.

“Well, at least you know how this kind of thing works. I mean I'm pretty sure romance novels are nothing to go by.” Adora retorted, earning a snort of amusement from Catra who glanced over at her.

“You totally _would_ be one of those girls wouldn't you?” Catra said, unable to keep from snicker at the look she _knew_ she was being sent over that comment.

An easy silence formed over them after that as Adora moved to lie on the ground next to Catra. 

“So what exactly do we do now? I mean, does this mean we're dating or...” Adora began after a while, glancing over at the other girl who just grinned slightly in the faint light.

“Whatever you want us to be because I'm leaving it up to _you,_ Princess.” 

Catra's answer surprised her, not so much because she was leaving complete control in her hands but the fact that the irritating nickname was said with a softness to it that was so unlike the brunette—who would usually practically _spit_ the word in her direction.

“I think,” Adora began, swallowing hard as she tried to fight the butterflies that suddenly had appeared in her stomach, “I think I would like that if you would have me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there may be like 3 more chapters of this.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone finds out about Adora and Catra. 
> 
> Catra tries to get Adora to stop worrying so much

“so what the heck happened with you and Catra? I mean I saw you two arguing then you both just seemed to vanish!” Glimmer exclaimed, not caring that Catra was still around or that any number of their friends could hear this conversation.

“maybe you wouldn't have had to worry if all of you didn't decide to butt into other people's personal lives!” Adora retorted although there wasn't much more than annoyance in her tone as she all but ignored the other girl's question.

“Hey, everyone was tired of watching you two undress each other mentally every time that you were in the same room! I mean _**everyone**_ noticed! There was even a betting pool!” Glimmer retorted, causing Adora to wheel around to face her at that.

“People are doing _**what?**_ ” 

Luckily for Glimmer, that was when Angela decided to step into the room. 

“What pray tell is all the yelling about? It's twelve thirty in the morning?” She asked, glancing between Adora and Glimmer as if trying to figure out why the blonde looked like she was about to lose her temper at any moment.

“Evidently people need a new hobby.” Catra answered for them, glaring across the room as if to indicate _who_ she was talking about. 

“Basically everyone made a betting pool on these two,” Entrapta stated, motioning to Catra and Adora—both who shot her a look that clearly said _shut up_. 

Angela glanced between the two, taking note of how Adora suddenly was more interested in the pattern on the rug and how Catra seemed to stiffen. 

_ Teenagers.  _ Angela thought, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at the sudden silence that filled the room, although she knew from experience that Adora didn't exactly open up to her about anything that she deemed  _ risky _ and that if she wanted to get any answers she would have to approach the topic carefully.

However, before she could even think of something to say Adora spoke up, her voice barely audible even in the quite room.

“Catra and I are dating.” 

It took Angela a moment to come up with a response to that, especially since both of the teens in question seemed to be holding their breaths. 

“Well, that explains the betting and why Glimmer was telling Scorpia to try to get Catra to attend the dance tonight.” She said carefully, expression softening as realization dawned on her. 

_ She wasn't just nervous about telling me...She was afraid. But why? I know that I have never given her reason to be and judging from what I have heard from Catra, it must stem from something in her past.  _ Angela knew that she would have to try to get Adora to open up about that at some point, but right now 

She just needed to worry about making sure that no one would end up having a panic attack.

“Also, I'm going to trust you two with this whole...arrangement... you have come up with _. Please_ don't make me regret it and Adora, as long as you're happy and the other person is good to you...I don't care who you date.” 

“Adora, Angela isn't like Shadow Weaver or Hope, although Hope is the less of those two evils,” Catra whispered to Adora long after they had gone to bed that night, running her fingers through Adora's hair as gingerly as possible as she thought about the whole scenario that she had witnessed earlier between Adora and Angela. 

“I know but sometimes I just can't help but worry. You know?” Adora said as she turned toward Catra, who just sighed and pressed a kiss against her forehead. 

“Yeah, I do.” 

she answered softly as she shifted and put an arm around the other girl as she added:

“But I've talked to Angela before about some stuff and I don't think that she's ever going to hurt you. I mean if she can put up with Glimmer's mouth without shoving a gag half down her throat then she has more patience than a saint.”

Adora chuckled at that, giving them a light smack on the arm over that comment although it had the effect that Catra had wanted and broke the tension.

“You're awful.” Adora whispered although she rested her head against the lankier built girl's chest in that same moment, feeling silent laughter coming from Catra. 

“Thank you, glad you think so.” Catra responded lightly as she tightened her grip on her and closed her eyes.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Angela finally have that talk.

Catra thought everything had finally calmed down—that things would start looking up in one way or another but she quickly discovered that to be all an illusion on the night while she once again stayed the night over at Adora's. 

It had been weeks since the spring dance that had finally given them enough courage to say what they were thinking—or rather feeling and although this didn't make things perfect, for Catra it definitely helped. However, there was still one major problem that lingered between them that Catra had  _no idea_ how to solve. 

The nightmares.

Adora had seemed to contentiously have the same dreams over and over and although both Glimmer and Catra had tried to pry the information out of her, she would never talk about  _**what** _ exactly those dreams where and always brushing it off as something stupid or just memories playing over in her head but Catra wasn't going to buy that even for a second.

After all, she  _knew_ that most of those nights after waking up screaming—Adora didn't fall back asleep no matter what was going on the next day or even where she was. But on this particular night, Catra and Adora were both curled together on a makeshift mattress in Glimmer's room after the latter had insisted that they needed to marathon a whole cartoon series because neither of them had ever seen it.

Well, that so-called  _classic_ had put Catra asleep right away only to be woken up only an hour or so later by Adora mumbling beside her, her voice catching in her throat as she kept repeating the words: Please don't do this over and over. 

Catra had no idea what could have even brought this on, after all, she had received the worst treatment out of all of them at the group home and although she understood that Adora had faced more emotional torture and manipulation than anything she just could see why that would cause this level of mental anguish. 

“Adora! Come on, wake up. It's just a dream.” She called, softly at first so not to wake Bow and Glimmer although this didn't seem to phase Adora at all. 

“Adora!” she repeated, putting a hand on her girlfriend's shoulder only for a vice light grip to grab her arm, making her _really_ glad that she and Adora never actually came to blows during those first few weeks of the school year.

“Adora! Chill, it's me! You're having a nightmare.” She all but shouted, effectively waking up both of their roommates and the blonde who looked close to tears. 

“Catra? Oh my gosh, are you okay? I didn't mean...I'm sorry.” 

Adora began, however, Catra just smiled sympathetically as she glanced toward the others who rushed over. 

“You really need to talk to my mom about all of this. I mean you barely sleep anymore.” Glimmer stated as she knelt on the floor beside Adora who shook her head frantically. 

“Hate to say it 'Dora but Tinkerbell's right. You _**have**_ to talk to someone and the only one who really would know how to help is Angela. I _know_ that Hope was an ass and Beatrix can rot in the last layer of hell for all _anyone_ with common sense cares but Angela isn't like either of them,” Catra said, drawing closer to the still obviously disturbed blonde before adding:

“I'll even come with you if you want me to.” 

Angela didn't know  _what_ was going on when she found herself being shaken awake by Glimmer, who looked frantic.

“Glimmer, what the world is wrong? It's three in the morning?” Angela asked, trying to stifle a yawn as she got out of bed despite the fact that she was still confused by this whole thing. 

“It's Adora, She had another nightmare and this time I _don't_ think it had to do with Mara's death.” Glimmer answered before grabbing her hand and practically dragging her from the room.

“I can't tell her that! She'll get mad!” Adora was saying when they walked in although she grew quiet when she saw Angela standing in the doorway. 

“You _can._ Hell, _**I**_ have even talked about shit with Angela and if she puts up with _me_ I know she sure as hell will listen to you.” Catra retorted, squeezing Adora's hand slightly.

“Do you think we did the right thing? I mean I know my Mom would _**never**_ hurt her or anything but she looked so scared.” Glimmer asked as they sat downstairs, giving Adora and Angela time to talk about whatever it was that was going on with Adora.

“You two are her best friends, you don't have to worry. I, on the other hand, will probably get the silent treatment for the next decade but as to answer your question, Yes. Yes, we did because I know how it affects people to bottle up things like that...because frankly, _**I**_ was the world's worst for it.” Catra responded, laying back on the couch. 

“that's right, you live on your own, don't you? Who did you finally talk to?” Bow asked, turning toward Catra who sighed.

“Scorpia,” She answered simply as she turned to face them “She basically tolerated all of my bullshit and saw past _everything_ I threw at her, even when I basically used her as some sort of disposable object. To be honest I don't even know _how_ we're still friends or why she didn't kick my ass out.” 

The raw honesty of the answer surprised both of the other teens—who up until this point hadn't really spoken much to Catra about her past outside of the few stories that Adora and she had shared with them about the mischief that they would get up to as kids. 

“Wow. One would think that someone _that intimidating_ wouldn't be so empathetic.” Glimmer said, earning a nod. 

“Yeah, she's a real sweetheart at times...well at least the thirty percent of the time that she isn't being a total dunce,” Catra responded with a sigh as she glanced toward the stairs. 

_ Had she read this whole thing wrong? Would Angela actually be mad about this whole thing? _ She couldn't help but worry although another—more rational—part of her brain knew that she was just overthinking things because she didn't want her girlfriend to hurt anymore.

“and they both said things along the same lines to you? Really? Did you ever tell anyone about this? Mara?” Angela asked softly, unsure if what she felt more of at that moment was disgust at what the authority figures in—up until the last few years of Adora's—life had told her or anger at the before-mentioned women. 

“Mara was already having such a difficult time so I didn't want to bother her, besides I dealt with it before so I knew I could deal with it again,” Adora answered, earning a sigh from Angela, which she took a sign to brace herself for whatever came next. 

“Adora, you're still just a kid yourself. You don't _have_ to deal with all this on your own and to be frank no one should. You have people who _will_ care and listen if you would just talk to them.” Angela said gingerly, trying to keep any trace of what could be interpreted as irritation out of her tone.

“Whenever you start feeling like this, come to me. I don't care what time it is. Okay? I am not going to get angry at you or whatever else those imbeciles made you expect. When I offered you a place here I took full responsibility for you and _that_ means all the emotional and mental needs as well as the physical.” 

Angela wasn't sure how Adora would respond to this. If she would think of it as some form of guilt trip or lecture, or even if it would cause the girl to shut her off once again. But whatever response she figured would come, didn't prepare her for the fact that—after a delay of several minutes—Adora hugged her. 

“Thank you.” 

Adora wished that she could say more but those were the only two words that her brain seemed to be able to get her mouth to form, although there was so much that she wanted to say. She just  _ hoped  _ that she hadn't read the situation wrong, that Angela would react to this the same way that Beatrix or even Hope would have. 

Although it didn't take her long to get her answer, because as soon as the initial shock wore off Angela returned the embrace and for the first time in a long time, Adora actually felt as though she had finally found a place where she could be accepted without judgment or ridicule. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would have updated this sooner but this chapter was a pain to write (plus I've been sick so that definitely didn't help) anyway one more chapter to go.   
> Thank you all for reading/Kudos-ing/commenting


	30. Chapter 30

** Epilogue: **

Catra sighed as she glanced at her watch, not understanding what the big deal about not picking Adora up at the door, as usual, was, after all, Angela _knew_ they were dating and that they had a date that night, so it wasn't as though they were sneaking around like some kind teenage romance novel.

“I swear if she isn't out here in five minutes I'm going to make her _walk_ to the restaurant,” Catra mumbled to no one in particular as she leaned against the fence that surrounded the area and tried to ignore the fact that Adora's horse was currently snuffing at her hair.

“You bite me and I swear I will punch you again and this time I will make sure I put all my force behind it.” she threatened, feeling silly for talking to Swift Wind as though he could understand her _but_ it also wasn't like there was anyone else outside to hear her.

“Let me know if he ever talks back.”

Catra nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard the sudden voice, only to find that it was Bow who was coming from the direction of the barn.

“Adora blackmailed you into mucking out stalls again?” Catra asked, snickering at the look that the boy sent her.

“That was _once_ and I almost puked. No, I promised Angela I would pick feed up in town today since she had that _thing_ over in—ugh where was it again?” he replied, earning a chuckle from the tan-skinned girl.

“Who cares? All I know is that Glimmer wants me and Adora to come back before her mother gets home so we can marathon a bunch of horror movies even though all of you guys are pussies when it comes to those things...Well minus Mermista.” Catra responded, smirking as Bow glared over at her and crossed his arms.

“I don't think you get bragging rights either there miss emotionless. You cried when we watched that one movie....you know....the one where the dog died?” Bow reminded her, earning a glare.

“Shut up. It's not like I was the only one.” Catra mumbled, her face flushing slightly since he had brought up the rather embarrassing thing.

Her reaction caused Bow to laugh as he easily climbed over the fence.

“You're not as hard as you try to make yourself seem. Are you still waiting on Adora to get dressed? When I was up there earlier her and Glimmer were basically bickering over how to fix her hair.” He said, earning a groan.

“Glimmer's a romantic and Adora just doesn't _do_ fashion so I can't even _imagine_ how long this will take. This horse has more probability of sprouting wings than us making our reservation on time!” Catra groaned, running a hand over her face as if that would help with the irritation in some way.

As soon as she said this, however, a nudge to the ribs caused her to look up and she was caught off guard by how stunning that Adora looked as she slowly made her way down the front walkway.

“I swear I feel so ridiculous. This dress is too short and I don't even know what Glimmer put in my hair.” Adora said as soon as she came close to the star-struck form of her girlfriend—who luckily snapped out of it long enough to fully appreciate seeing her partner dressed so differently than normal.

The dress in question was a white, sleeveless sundress with some kind of golden beading about the front and although it was in no way flashy, it showed off her figure perfectly.

“Well, you _look_ amazing. Ready to go?” Catra asked, chuckling a bit as the blonde's face turned at least two different shades.

“As ready as I will ever be in this getup.”

Catra snickered at that—although she made a mental note to thank Glimmer for this later—and took her girlfriend's hand.

“Then we best be going then, shouldn't we?”

Once they were in the car—that Catra had borrowed from Scorpia that evening—the dark-haired girl turned toward Adora, a teasing smirk playing on her features.

“You know, I love the fact that I've _never_ seen you wear anything like that before tonight,” Catra said, grinning slyly as she added in a teasing tone:

“although I have the slightest suspicion that you put a pair of shorts on under that thing when Glimmer wasn't looking.”

“Can you stop trying to make my blood pressure rise and just drive already? I already feel out of place in this!” Adora responded, turning her attention out of the window.

Catra obliged although instead of pulling out right away she reached over and took Adora's hand.

“Hey, you can rock _anything_ you want to and you look amazing this evening. I wouldn't just tell you that because you're my girlfriend if I really didn't mean them.” she murmured, leaning across the seat and stealing a kiss before adding

“Now let's go. I promised you an amazing time tonight. I just _hope_ that I don't fuck this whole thing up someway.”

Adora couldn't help but smile at that—although she couldn't help but roll her eyes at her girlfriend's brash way of speaking.

“I'm sure that whatever you have planned will be perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all the reads, kudos, and comments. 
> 
> I know the ending wasn't the best but I wanted it to end on a softer note since at least 80% of this was angsty.


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